“Where You Left Them” is the podcast from dadhugsforyoursoul, the relationship repair and self-help phenomenon run by Harry on social media, with tens of millions of views each month.
dadhugsforyoursoul has helped thousands of people to solve their painful relationships, walk away from the wrong partner situations and - most of all - build themselves up with practical advice they can carry into more fruitful relationships in the future.
“Where You Left Them” makes those relationship stories and Harry’s advice even more real. This podcast gives you honest stories - extraordinary stories - and shares Harry’s insights, live.
In this week's episode we hear from Eliza - and we really wanted to tell this story because we think it'll resonate with so many of us. A successful, secure person, Eliza is still troubled by the thought that life is somehow passing her by.
At 35, she's tired of seeing all her friends happily settled down - and social media just rubs salt in the wound daily, with endless picture-perfect engagement and baby announcements. She always says she's happy - and most of the time she is. But deep down, she wonders when it will be her turn... Add the usual family pressures and the seemingly unavoidable dating apps and it's a recipe for an awful lot of angst which so many of us have felt.
So we're going to explore why we feel the pressure to relentlessly pursue those life milestones - and we discover that 35 is NOT an age to be giving up!
Of course, we also ask you our Question of the Week (and in the spirit of openness, Harry and Emma share their own answers). QOTW today is: what is a clear sign that someone is not over their ex? And for once, Harry and Emma were surprisingly close in their thinking. Emma says: the tell-tale of "it's not over yet" is still expressing strong emotions towards the ex - even if it’s negative emotion. She says "You need to be at a place of indifference." Harry said almost the same thing: having a negative nickname for someone is a sure sign that you're not over them yet...
Due to the unique way we are seriously disorganised, this week, Emma is DELIGHTED to learn that she will, yet again, be journaling OUT LOUD! Yes, more public speaking which she is the only form of talking she’s not so keen on!
Our quick healing tool this week is this: go outside! Find a bench and sit for 10 minutes and let the world go by. Listen in for more details.
Do you have a suggestion for a healing tool you like? Tell us here
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Well said, Barb ❤ We all tend to think of others according to our own needs, wishes, values, dreams and reads alot into others situations. We THINK other people are more happy because they have something we'd like to have - but actually we don't know the true story. We compare ourselves to others all the time, and though it is a social skill, it can also turn out wrong.
Everything we observe takes color from ourself: Our values, experiences, faith, confidence, fears, childhood, our health and culture, our age and sex, religion, our time in history, our hormones, other peoples impact on us, other peoples views on what we observe - and they can have a hidden agenda for what they persuade you to think... everything we are inflicts on how we view others. The trick is, however hard it might be, is finding out who YOU are and what YOU want, in your own depths, freely. Almost impossible to imagine but sociocultures conditions us in a big way. If Eliza grew up in, let's say a tribe of female hunters and male homekeepers, she might chose to ignore her biological clock.
Free your mind
After listening to Eliza’s story, I felt I had to share something. As women, we have expectations put on us by our patriarchal society, family and friends. We often take on those expectations ourselves. It will make us feel behind, not enough or like we are doing it wrong. It’s a setup. Doing what’s expected of us rarely makes us happy. I know plenty of people in long term unhappy marriages that are awful, but they stick with it because that is what is “expected” of them.
Here’s the thing. Each one of us can choose to design a life we love for ourselves. You have to really ask yourself what you want out of life, try things and make adjustments. Eliza might really want marriage and kids, but she really needs to ask herself if it’s what she wants or if it’s what expected of her. Her life doesn’t have to look like everyone else. It just needs to be authentically what she desires.
Hello there, Harry and Emma.
I'm a fan of you, as you've probably discovered. Looking thru your many posts and clips, I see all the nice comments from people that find help in your words. And compliments for Harry 😊 Which is great. I too have the impression that you, Harry, are a good man, a fine soul, warm, deep, caring and lovely. Very attractive to most women I know, I'm sure 💚 With all these wonderful feedbacks and compliments and succes with the DadHugs, I hope you'll stay grounded and not turn into a bigheaded player... What are your thoughts on this? What do you do to stay grounded? I take it that Emma also reads this and helps keeping you real. I hope so. You are helping so many, I'd hate to see what you've created fall to the ground. MumHugs x
Hi lovely - Emma here. What an excellent comment! I shall be sure to grill him about this on Tuesday! He is - as I'm sure you can guess - surrounded by women (sisters, friends, me) who remind him daily that it's our world and he's just living in it 😁. He is a good man. He is very kind, very patient, very aware of our feelings. (He paid me for that last bit). Thank you for being part of our community xxx
Hello there, Harry and Emma.
I'm a fan of you, as you've probably discovered. Looking thru your many posts and clips, I see all the nice comments from people that find help in your words. And compliments for Harry 😊 Which is great. I too have the impression that you, Harry, are a good man, a fine soul, warm, deep, caring and lovely. Very attractive to most women I know, I'm sure 💚 With all these wonderful feedbacks and compliments and succes with the DadHugs, I hope you'll stay grounded and not turn into a bigheaded player... What are your thoughts on this? What do you do to stay grounded? I take it that Emma also reads this and helps keeping you real. I hope so. You are helping so many, I'd hate to see what you've created fall to the ground. MumHugs x
Listening to Elizas’s story made me remember that how when I was in my 30s and unhappily married (although hiding it very well) I used to have a single friend that felt similar to how Eliza does now… at the time I was so surprised to hear that as from my viewpoint she had it all. Freedom, independence and her whole life - with lots of excitement and love ahead of her.. so Eliza and others in your situation please embrace who you are and realise there are people out there that are so very envious of what YOU have. Big hug x