“Where You Left Them” is the podcast from dadhugsforyoursoul, the relationship repair and self-help phenomenon run by Harry on social media, with tens of millions of views each month.
dadhugsforyoursoul has helped thousands of people to solve their painful relationships, walk away from the wrong partner situations and - most of all - build themselves up with practical advice they can carry into more fruitful relationships in the future.
“Where You Left Them” makes those relationship stories and Harry’s advice even more real. This podcast gives you honest stories - extraordinary stories - and shares Harry’s insights, live.
Today we meet Jonathan who shares his story of a passionate, long-distance relationship. Ah yes - the sort where it just fizzles out because eventually one of you just can't take the isolation? Nope. Jonathan and his partner were together as often as they could be - and when Jonathan suffered a nasty accident, his partner flew to be by his side. He felt cared for and committed and was looking forward to their future together. But before making a full recovery, he was devastated when, out of the blue, she called it off. And not just a "sorry, I'm not feeling this" conversation: she left him with unanswered questions at a time when he really needed support. Jonathan feels lost and needs answers.
Big Hug
Ready to help out? Our question of the week is fab - because we're all a bit hypocritical sometimes! We ask: What is a piece of advice that you have given your best friend that you haven’t done anything about yourself? Don't beat yourself up - we're all better at helping our friends sort out their relationships than we are sorting out our own. And that's because it's much harder to follow advice than to give it! As always, Harry and Emma have been super honest. In fact, Emma said, "Everything! I give great advice but I don’t follow it." Well that's helpful (don't worry - there's plenty more..) And Harry says: "Pause more: respond instead of reacting." What do you think?
This week, we are looking at an activity that will help anxious people reconnect with their core self. So, our own Poster Girl for Anxious Attachment has been tasked with focussing on a moment in her childhood (when she was under 15 years old) where she felt unbridled joy. She will spend about 10 minutes with her memory and let us know what it is and how it felt.
This week, Harry’s suggested healing tool is timed sadness: set a timer and stick to it! If you are crying, you have to stop when the timer goes off - listen to the episode for more explanation and guidance.
Do you have a suggestion for a healing tool you like? Tell us here
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Such an interesting insight about the cruelty masked as kindness in that one. Couldn't help but think about my father telling me that I am not his child when he was trying to commit suicide. As figuring out what's going on, calling the ambulance and trying to keep him conscious until it arrives wasn't enough for a 15-year old... Objectively it sounds awfully cruel but luckily for me back in that moment I knew (more on an emotional than conscious level of course) that it was coming from the point of love and that he was trying to protect me from grief. But it was really good to hear from Harry about the whole mechanism in a more scholar and structured way. And it's just simply good to know that the experience isn't unique. Thank you! 🩵 Understanding that almost all people that hurt others are in emotional pain themselves really helped me to feel and act in a more emotionally safe way. Seeing them in that way makes it so much easier to distance myself and - applying Harry's advice here - pause and think before reacting and hurting myself with my own bad emotions. I wish this realisation came way earlier than in the last few years but hey, I'm glad it came at all :)
Hello Harry and Emma. Thank you for reading out my first comment the other day and your really kind words. You made me cry again! Loving the podcasts, it’s like having two new best friends! I have a question about the journaling please. Still haven’t found the courage to record voice notes yet but I do my crazy scribbling at bedtimes! So, my question is, obviously I understand the “no talking about your ex” rule but… after being totally blindsided by my husband of over 20 years totally discarding me, I’m trying to educate myself on avoidant attachment, narcissism etc and I’m having to look back on everything with a fresh pair of eyes. I’m trying to document all the red flags that I missed (I’m so determined not to miss them in the future) and I’m finding it really helpful to actually start to manage his current behaviour and conversations with me, so that I don’t get manipulated again. So, it’s really useful. But I also want to move on! And I want to start journaling positive things too! So, is there a point when I say “enough” and stop journaling all the negative stuff? Or do I keep two journals? Thank you so much, you are doing a great job and helping me to realise that I’m not going crazy! Xx
I feel for Jonathan, to be broken up with whilst dealing with a health challenge is an awful situation. I also have sympathy for his ex partner. Divorce has a huge impact and it can take time to work through the pain and realise what you want out of life going forward. There is no “nice” way to break up with someone, whilst she clearly mishandled it, I don’t think she was intentionally cruel. I hope in time Jonathan will be able to look back fondly on the relationship and move on to something even better.