The Huddle
What you're entitled to ask about
Most women I speak to didn't handle the money. Not because they couldn't. Because at some point it got easier to let him do it, and then fifteen years went by.
Bhavna spent years as a divorce lawyer watching what that costs. A woman finds out at forty-nine that there's a pension nobody mentioned. That the joint account isn't quite joint. That the thing she assumed was half hers has only ever had one name on it. And underneath all of it, the same sentence: I didn't know I was allowed to ask.
You are. That's what this call is about.
She's answering your questions, and I'd like her to have them before she arrives.
Ask your question
Ask the thing you'd ask a solicitor if the meter wasn't running. The question you're embarrassed not to know the answer to. Nobody sees your name unless you want them to.
Your question goes to Bhavna Radia before the call. Nothing appears on this page unless you tick the box above and we approve it.
What people are asking
These are questions women have sent in and were happy to share.
I have proof of affairs. What do I actually do with it?
Jules
I'm 48 with four grown-up children. Am I too old to leave?
Marie
How do I understand pensions and financial settlements?
Claire
How do I even start the divorce process without it costing a fortune?
Sinead
How do I avoid unnecessary legal costs?
Amy
How do I know if I'm being taken advantage of financially?
Gemma
What happens to the family home in a divorce?
Hannah
I haven't worked because I raised the children. He says I'd get nothing because he was the earner. Is that true?
Anonymous
He says he'd make my life difficult if I leave. I believe him. I can't stay. Where do I start?
Anonymous
Hi there - how do i keep myself safe once i ask for divorce?
Anonymous
I have never been involved with the 'money' part of our marriage, and I don't know where to look - he might have 50 accounts for all I know - how to start?
Kiely
About Bhavna Radia
Bhavna Radia spent years as a family lawyer, then got divorced herself at forty. She knows the system from the inside, and she knows what it's like to be the one sitting opposite the solicitor, frightened, wondering what you're allowed to ask for. She's since supported hundreds of women through it.