Why do I feel safest when I'm chasing?

When you're chasing, the anxiety has somewhere to go. You're checking, planning, replying and trying. When someone genuinely chooses you, there's nothing left to do but believe it, and for anyone who learned early that love could be withdrawn, believing feels far more exposing than working for it. That's why being loved steadily can feel uncomfortable at first. It fades as your body learns that nothing is about to be taken away.