The messages people never sent about what it did to the kids

I gave so much of myself. I wanted to love you the way you'd never been loved as a child, to try to make up for the loneliness that I knew both of us had suffered. I felt like I'd taken all the lessons from the mistakes I'd made in the last and became, what I felt was, the perfect girlfriend. I was patient, caring, kind, understanding. For the first few months we got back together i was wary but then I relaxed and that was my biggest mistake. I've now realised you can't love someone who doesn't love themselves

Instead: Spent time with my cat

Anonymous, day 14

So now you're out there playing the rugged hero swooping in to sweep a woman off her feet who thinks you're the protagonists of a trashy romance novel. Reality will BITE. Like a slow motion car crash. And I finally get to vent: Do you honestly think it was attractive watching a man in his 50s set up a tiktok channel to show himself "training" to 90s music? Do you think I lusted over you when you took to wearing grey joggers 24/7 and started spraying yourself to death with Lynx Africa?! Wow, so cooool Mr "thirst trap" and sooo down with the kids eh 🤣🤣 Did you think I wouldn't see you commenting on young women's posts in gym groups? "Great job", "impressive" 🤮 - the elder statesman persona doesn't hide actual creepy old man reality. It's like someone got you a midlife crisis cringe checklist and you ticked everything off, then made your own list on top. And the stupid fucking swagger you adopted, like you're carrying carpets under your arms. Honestly, spare me. Your incessant need for external validation is absolutely insane. And you'd rather drown in your own dysfunction than do something about it. What a loser.

Instead: Just trying to keep one foot in front of the other

Anonymous, day 92

This is so difficult its like denying reality. Im awake, still full of all the best of it and empty, like grief. Im going so slow. Life doesnt have much meaning. My own son also started ghosting me . It started anout 9 years ago, and now has been all pervasive for a couple of years. Im in a sort of pergatory. They say we look at others as mirrors. there is an emptiness in being dumped. the word ghosting is corretc. Being the aware ghost. Trying to tell myslef its what it feels like to rebuild from nothing. But at least im still here.

Instead: Im trying to sleep. I feel so tired but Im wide awake.

Annie

How dare you? You pursued me wedged your way into my family. took advantage of my kindness as well as my children’s kindness and then disappeared. Not even a word of explanation or goodbye. Just totally discarded not only me but my children children. How dare you ? who do you think you are ? The only thing I wish for you is someone just like you dances into your world full of promises and walks out without a word. Good luck with that. I won’t be around to see it but good luck.

Instead: Breathe a side of relief as I recapture the peace that is my world.

Anonymous, day 31

i miss you, you broke my heart. i just want to cry. you were my soft landing but you abandoned me and now i feel lost and alone and i know you feel the same because you’ve told me so. You chose to live without me you sacrificed our love to live in the past with a photograph of your wife who died 3 and a half years ago beside you and fell into the bosom of your grown up children and their partners living their happy normal lives, but they didn’t accept me and they made you choose them over your happiness with me and you let them you never stood up to them you said to them that i’d been to you but you never actually had the balls to tell them that you LOVED ME and now you say you’re not happy and you don’t think you ever will be….. what do you expect me to do with that now 4 months after you left me on my birthday because you’re daughter aged 44 got married and didn’t invite me? how can you allow them to be so cruel to me and then go on to abandon me yourself. It was very unfair which you have admitted but i still miss you and wish things were different too but i don’t think you deserve my kindness.

Instead: had a gin and tonic wrote message on here to get support from everyone else in a similar situation

Rebecca, day 120

You took all the best *things* from the house when you moved out. You went to a beautiful new apartment with a new person and left the mess of 25 years behind for me to deal with. You don't even realize you got the worst end of the deal while thinking you'd won. You left me with our kids and our dog. You enjoy the TV and electronics while I'm enjoy the little loves of my life. I'd trade it all away for them again a thousand times over. You don't even know the value of what you discarded. I almost feel sorry for you, because there's no coming back or undoing for you.

Instead: I took the dog for a long walk, took my son out for ice cream and sent a silly care package to my daughter away at college.

Anonymous, day 4

It has changed, If you came back you would have to be really convincing. An apology, an acknowledgement and saying you love and miss me. That you made a mistake, that you have found it really difficult to admit and you hope I will find it in my heart to forgive you. Just letting the universe know, because actually the universe doesnt like what you have done at all, so you are going to have to do the sort of work on yourself you have never ever done. And I might reply, you have to go back to day one. Its atrts with a big bunch of flowers. it continues to a really expensive meal and whatever i want to eat and drink, and taxis either way. then it includes presents you should have given me but didnt. It includes getting people who you have coerced into destroying this relationship the opportunity to apolgise to me. including your son to whom you must apologise. then theres the holiday but this time you pay for it all like you said you would, bvut didnt. Then it comes all the way with always replying in good time and never leaving me hanging and if you make a mistake, we are all human, you apologise and make good. It also includes you addressing th damage you have done to me, to my nervouse system and to my work, so you will ocme round and help me doing the sort of things most pyfriends wouldnt think twice about. help me set up my telly, and put the shaving mirror up, whicch after all i bought for you. Lets see how close that comes to anything you might sya to me. A long way I expect. But Im willing to be surprised.

Instead: Going to the post office then coming back to attempt to get the work done I would have been doing happily without your appaling behaviour and the destruction you reaked on my life

Annie

I am angry with you, yet I miss you and am still attached to you. That just means to me, that you are asking me to walk away from something real. I am indeed shocked, in disbelief, that have not chosen me. On a good day, I think you are such a fool, and although I consider it a loss for both of us, I resolve to be ok and look for love elsewhere. But in hard moments (which I am experiencing right now) I long for you and feel so completely abandoned. I know that you not wanting to be with me should disqualify you to me…. But the problem is I don’t really believe it… because I still believe that you love me too…. And ultimately would always come to my need. I guess that’s maybe part of my dysfunction, my anxious attachment that I need to keep in-check, because you so clearly are and have chosen to leave me. I don’t understand what is wrong with you, no matter how much I study and try to diagnose it….. you are still making a choice to walk away from someone for loves you, prioritizes you and treats you well. I can only conclude that you never really loved me, you must have just been going through the motions…. Which means you were using me & always intended on leaving?…. So I say now, F—- YOU… And shame on you! It’s not ok to treat people like that Mike! It’s selfish & wreckless. Yes, I am still waiting for you to tell me that I am wrong, that you were scared…. But now willing to face your fears of healthy relationship consistent connection, vulnerability and intimacy. To realize you will not lose yourself…. That you can be real with people and still be you. I always imagine you did the same thing with Jean….. you could never tell me why she wasn’t right for you. To have a fantasy ex, the one that “got away”…. Even though it wasn’t so very great in reality….. lets you have one foot out the door. Quit using people as temporary band-aids! I am so angry with you about that. But yet, I know I can love another properly, and I want that for myself. What pisses me off is that we could be that for each other, but because you will not face & take on your insecurities, we both must be alone and lonely? It’s such a waste. And I resent you for not partnering with me, after so much investment and decisive commitment to you, which throws me back into the online dating mess…. That I do not want to be in …. Because I already found you and want you to be my person. Yes, I expect some things to change…. But they are all normal relationship stuff of including the one you love into your life. I guess I believe you will eventually do that with someone…. And I am so insulted you haven’t done it with me. I know that’s the reason I should not want you; but I just don’t believe you really mean it; I still think you love me; maybe I am the fool. The reason I think you should be choosing me is because I am willing, and have still been, working with you on this. That should make you love me more and more. But as far as I know, it hasn’t. Yes, I am waiting for you to tell me differently. I wish you would tell me that I am wrong …. Or better yet, that you are now finally ready and that you are willing to take on your own anxieties and that I am worth the effort. That you love me & my little one, that you want to be the man in our lives, that you will stay and not abandon us again. That you love us and want to do life with us and your kids…. And that you were just scared. That you are grateful to have found us, and that we can make each other’s lives better. I wish you would. ❤️ I’m sending this to an UNSENT tool. I have now read dozens of these….. from some women who are clearly farther along than me…. These have been inspirational. I’m in love with what I have decided is your potential…. Not the reality of what I have experienced these past 3 years. You choose not to contribute to my life, it’s not a true my loss, only a loss of potential, a dream, not of something real. You don’t deserve me or my dreams; but I do. I’m better off without you; as you have often said. What a crock! Who lives like this? Since you continue to think this way, I am so better off without you. You are such a fool….. and I have spent too much time trying & hoping you will change. This is such a loss for you 🙄. But I still have my peace and dignity.

Instead: Coffee, shower, go outside, call friend….. going g to enjoy this beautiful day. I’m free, I turn to myself, never again to out my emotional well being into another person. I’ll be back on the apps later…. I’m doing a lot of Burned Haystack method; if you know you know. I’ll commit to do the Anxious Attachment pack again. Incorporating habitual breathwork. Thanks Harry & Dadhugs crew!

Kimberly, day 370

so glad this is here because every day I am dealing with the fall out. Its extraordinary how cruel you were. You didnt turn up for a date, you turned your phone off, then you shout at me at 8 in the evening because I had to ask your son to get you to call me, and you didnt just simply apologise. yu shouted, it upset me so much because its a series of times when oyu choose not to reassure me. Why do i need reassurence? becuase you had started to breadcrumb. ie not give as much to me as I was giving to you. Its a slow starvation. then this incident , you chose to ghost after, saying I was over reacting. It got worse and worse because it destrabilsed my nervous system. last time you did it in Alpril I thgrew up every day for 2 months. God knows why i took you back, but Harrys kit says its the nervous system, and it thinks that getting together again is the cure. but its not, its the poison. At our age its even more sad, i spent time getting to know you. to me that means a lot, and to sleep with you, to me is sacred. So I do feel a bit raped, a bit used. Actually Im going to name it, I feel a bit raped. My sanctity has been abused. Your ability to disregard another human being let alone the one who you said is your partner is diabolical. But I saw friends in the pub yesterday and they said, the universe hates you because of what you have done to me. Still inside myself I dont want to let hate in. I see myself as loving. You havent stolen that from me.

Instead: going to have a drink with another lovley friend who agrees with the people in the pub yesterday.

annie again, day 2

God I’m so glad the divorce is finalised. I can’t be happier that I will never see your horrible face again knowing you have any hold over me at all. You have showed me exactly who you are through the last two years and, whilst I love our children with all of myself and commit to providing space for them to know you, I wish you to have nothing to do with me ever again. Go and have a good life - I will keep building my beautiful life like I did from day one of finding out you were cheating. Goodbye (dickhead!).

Instead: Spent time with my children, talked to friends and saw a comedian at an event.

Delia, day 748

How could I still be missing you. We renovated that house together we spoke of the future. We brought two families together. My kids loved you. I loved you and then one day you suddenly say actually you’ve always been holding space for your ex and you’re going back there. You tell me no one‘s ever treated you like I have. You’ve never been loved like when we were together and now you want to take that and go back somewhere else. I feel like you’ve stolen something from me and even with all of that there are still days like today that I just desperately want you back next to me because we had built a beautiful life together. We didn’t argue we didn’t fight we resolved disagreements we laughed. We had fun. We challenged each other and grew through that. It’s so confusing.

Instead: Took a long shower and cooked a nice meal for my family

Anonymous, day 11

B- My biggest question would be why? I was very good to you. I loved you, honored you, took care of you, respected you, and took care of your daughter. I gave you everything i had, and in turn you gave me the biggest heartbreak and chaos i have ever endured. Do you know that you cheating on me crushed me? Do you know that when you apologized and when I forgave you that I lost parts of myself that would take years to get back? Do you know, or even care that i wailed on my knees to God, that my own children that started out thinking you were great, turned out to despise you because they saw what you did. And they felt it too. They hurt also. Everytime you left and ghosted out of the blue you broke my heart, not just broke it, you shattered my soul in the places i never knew existed. I was a whole woman before you came into my life to entirely fuck me over. You left me like a barren wasteland. I will never forgive you for that, because after all the forgiveness i gave, only to be met with the same behavior of lying, cheating, gaslighting and ghosting...it makes me think you did it on purpose. Why? i was good to you. I loved you. Like no other. If you did it on purpose you are a monster. If you didnt do it on purpose you are the stupidest man on the planet considering I told you how you crushed me over and over again. I never want to hear from you again. But if you text, I will answer. I hate you, but I love you very much. You will never, ever change, but I pray to God all the time you will. I want, and need to move on from you but I cant. I dont talk to you anymore but I miss your voice. You made me feel like a worthless piece of garbage but when you loved me I felt priceless. You will never, ever change and will always be a Peter Pan looking for validation from women but you were my Peter Pan, when you were. I fucking hate what you did to me, how you left me in rubble and walked away smiling without a care in the world. You should be ashamed. I hate you, I love you. i miss you. Dont ever speak to me again. I cant wait to hear your voice. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Love, Kris

Instead: Wrote this!

Krissy

Today is day 30 since you sent that text. 30 days since you ended 9 years in a text message. You proposed to me on my birthday. Then ended us in a text. I sold my home, my land, things I cannot replace, to build our life together. Then you ended us in a text. I will never understand any of it. So much of me is angry, but I know wishing bad things to come your way is like drinking poison and expecting you to be the one to get sick. So, I am trying to let this go. One step at a time, one day at a time. I hope you can look at your life, your patterns one day. I hope you can look around and realize that every single family member you have has stopped contacting you. ALL of them. I hope you can look around and see that your son's only call when the need something. I hope you can see that you have two "Friends" and think about all of the lies you tell them so they think highly of you and then ask yourself if they knew the truth...would even they still be there? The "Rose colored glasses" are finally fading for me as they have for so many others in your life. So, I am saying I hope you have the life you deserve.... and leaving it at that.

Instead: Made myself a cup of coffee and sat on the dock, observing nature at its finest. I talked to God, out loud, and prayed for continued strength.

LR, day 30

Today was our daughter's first day at school. You missed it. Chose to be with her instead of watching your own kid walk through those gates for the first time, and I don't think I'll ever fully forgive you for this one.

Instead: Took lots of photos of her in her new uniform and sent them to my parents instead of you

Karen

Why can’t you see that I’m slowly dying inside? That by sharing days out with our son and your new girlfriend, you are breaking my heart. I didn’t have a kid with you so that you could play happy families with them and another partner. Why doesn’t how I feel matter? Why won’t you let me say how I feel or listen to me? You’ve handled this all wrong, you should have told me before you spent days out as a three. I am nothing to you now, I’ve got that message loud and clear but I will not let you take my son from me. You wrote the rules yet you’re not following them!

Instead: Came here

Anonymous, day 190

Your words never matched your actions. When I look back on the past four years all I see is your ego, your selfishness, your parasitic ways and your cowardice. You cried about past partners betraying you yet that’s how you played me. Truly gross. Did your hard drive recover? What possessed you not to back things up on the cloud? Well, if one thing is a constant in your life it would be that you are careless with precious things. I hope the college town you never moved out of continues to shelter you. You are a 54 year old man-child.

Instead: Went for a walk then watched Ted Lasso

Anonymous, day 75

Its not getting easier. Its getting worse. This really is a dark night of the soul. I didnt want to get up. But theres a cafe downstairs and the sun is shining and something made me sit on the tiny balcony with a coffee and two people downstairs looked up and smiled. Its got to that point, that tiny pin point of light, simple human connection. I feel so alone. Im accepting this intense darkness of grief I dont have a choice . Marisa Peer did a hypnosis about let go of grudges. It just doesnt fit. I cant .. the grudges are encasing me. its not my will. The only will is that Im still here. I feel drained. I think you are a vampire. and my eldest son and his ridiculous estrangement has worn me down. Where does all my joy go ? is it the only thing that has fueled me being alive at all ? i realise I have generated all the good in my life and it has been met by other good people. but you are not a good person. and neither is my son. Ghosting and estrangement is cruelty. It is violence. This is my most desperate not send to you. More and more I feel I should go to your house and call you out, but the vampiric nature of your soul means you would take that as well, and suckle your vile soul on the attention. God help me through this and thanks to Harry.

Instead: staying alive

annie, day 10

this is the biggest no send. Id go back to day 1 to send this to the bastard... BUT loomk at me, look what I have done what i ddnt desreve... you know how everyone says dont put anything personal on fb? well thats pretending life doesnt happen. re the estrangement epidemic... Im glad my eldest is ok enough to cut me off, but lets remember who i was as a mum, busy keeping them safe from kids thier own age mugging them, from girlfriends putting thier dope stash into their hands when the police came round, going to the police station to get my innocent 15 year old when hed agreed with her to pretend it was his, then renting somewhere when thier dad, with a brain tumour became viiolent and tried to attack me, making us homeless when they were doing thier GCSE's and before (two kids to protect) making sure they got through school and avoiding the local sink school by giving them music so they got scholarships and didnt end up in prison like one of their best friends at 15 by doing county lines. No help from my own brother or My hisbands family who were busy trying to get out home off us. You couldnt make it up. Imagine what that felt like for me. AM I supposed be be uber polite? What am I supposed to be after that ? Well I got them far enough to decide I am unworthy and cut me off. maybe I should have done none of that. To be honest it is the quality of the soul that creates the person. No problem with my soul. Except deep lonliness. coupled now, that with a man I really trusted who told me I was a forever woman, discarding me out of the blue. after 4 years of on off, Am I supposed to turn into some sort of hulking great creature of retribution ? NO I was always loving, moral, caring, generous, I always fought for the people I love . I always will. Who will fight for me? be there for me? they say it has to be me. Sorry. I dont agree. I think we are human, we should be there for each other.

Instead: i didnt send it to the man i thought was a human , simply worthy of being there for me and me for him.. but hes callous. inadaquate. you cant make someone love you if they dont as the song says. except I think he did and I dint forgive him for his coardice. No one let me be a cowrad. I ahd to keep them safe. and what i didnt say was they nearly got put nto care ??? Am I the invisiblae owman or what

a`nnie, day 9

You should never have had us, kids. It was only a power move from your part: you wanted to be pregnant to stick it to the doctors that declared you infertile. I believe you were also trying to salvage an already failing relationship thru having kids and wanted to live through us. Instead you drove your husband to the brink, manipulated us through stories and your trauma after the divorce. You still resent us for deciding to renew a relationship with our dad and are trying to paint yourself the victim forever more. Of course Dad has his share of the blame. But he's moved on from you and your half-truthed BS. Why can't you do the same? Its been 25 years since your divorce! You never got your act together and WE. ARE. TIRED. of hearing you complain and fabulate and blame everyone else but yourself. Get some help, get a life. And stop trying to convince us our father is the root of all that is evil. For one, I will have no part in your trying to ruin anyone's else livelyhood because of your senseless convictions.

Instead: Ate a chocolate chip cookie. Washed clothes and made dumpling farce. Had a nap. Talked to my sibling about your latest theory and conspiracy.

MJ, day 2

its not easy doing this because everything I feel and felt for you is the good stuff of me. It is love that wants to flow. I remember when you were responding, and Im going to have to sit myself down and remember how you started rationing the good stuff. Also all the times before when you double dated or expected me to wait for you. It just left me feeling bereft. You would call it needy, but you could just as easily made sure I felt safe. I told you what I needed enough times. You made me feel worthless. And when Upset, you called me unhinged and also even told your son I was unhinged. Our mutual friend you have also been colluding with. She thinks little of me as well, because you upset me before and she didn't like me being upset. You went away with a mother woman to weekends in Europe when you were supposed to be going out with me. You didn't turn up to dates even then. My minding would make you angry. Maybe you aren't the nice person you pretended to be when you were love bombing me, or dressing up and pretending in front of my friends. Performing. I am worth more, so much more. As much as I was giving you, which you called commodifying when I mentioned all the lovely things I did and said to you. Thanks for this Harry ! it really helps, this is challenging. This big uncomfortable space inside of me.

Instead: did some more productive work

annie, day 8

I regret the way I ended our marriage, but I don't regret ending our marriage. We were stuck in a never ending cycle of you breaking my trust and me trying to forgive and forget. All I ever wanted was to feel completely loved and protected by you but you chose to jeopardize our future over and over again, and you genuinely thought you'd never see the consequences of it. You thought I'd never leave. In the end we were complete strangers. Forgetting each other completely as individuals and knowing each other only as our sons parents. I spent the last couple of years learning to live a life on my own, convincing myself I was so lucky that you allowed me to live so freely but I eventually realised it was simply that you no longer wanted to be part of anything I was passionate about. Somehow though, even though I left you, I'm the one left broken hearted. Struggling to adapt - whilst you tell me to put my big girl pants on and get on with life - I think that speaks volumes about how little you actually valued me and our marriage. The pain runs deep but I know one day it won't hurt anymore.

Instead: Added it to this website

Anonymous, day 115

Mark, When you contacted me in last year (emphasis on your unsolicited contact of me) and told me of your health issues, I decided that, wherever our correspondence took us, I would be kind to you. I would resist calling out your hubris, false memories and anything else that might irk me. I decided this because I felt sorry for you and what you were about to endure as treatment. And so, we ‘conversed’ for weeks and weeks. Always I hoped that I was in some small way making life more bearable – particularly in those sleepless hours of your nights. I hoped that I was open, accepting and comforting. I sought to be entertaining and encouraging. You asked for my forgiveness for your behaviours as a 22, 23, 24-year-old man back in the late 70s. And I tried to give that to you by admitting to my own naive complicity and lack of boundaries. You spoke a great deal about your parents – knowing, I hope, that I loved them (especially your Mum) very much. When you expressed sadness at their parenting ‘failures’ I offered you an explanation that this was not about you – you were so very loved, certainly by her: it was about their own upbringing, education and circumstances. And in March or April, I asked you if you had considered Dignitas. “Assisted Dying” we call it here, where it is legal and as you might expect, very, very well managed/controlled. I had no idea what the legal standing of assisted dying was in UK – I’ve been away a long time and had no idea that, for once, Australian Legislation was more progressive than the UK. I meant no offence. I was not, for a moment, inviting a discussion with me about what your personal choices might be if your treatment failed. I was not implying that your treatment would not be successful, or that I was someone you should include in your decision-making process. Your responses to me (from memory, since I will not re-read our correspondence) were disproportionate to the offence, despite my many apologies. Clearly you did not accept any of my apologies. Perhaps I should have written them in Latin? And to top it all, a final ghastly act of spitefulness (perhaps?), you told me that what I had thought was a post romance kind of friendship straddling 29 years, was meaningless to you. Let me thank you for that clarification. You gave me a lightbulb moment. Never were truer words spoken by you. Because, of course, from the day we met, it all meant nothing to you. Your interest did not last as long as our 2 year 'live-in'. You didn’t care less that I was pregnant during my Final Exams at University. It meant nothing to you that it took ME 6 months to pay my Students Union back the loan which paid for the termination. You lived in MY flat, rent free for years - until you decided to go to University in London. You were controlling, abusive - both physically and mentally, you were financially exploitative. I was nothing but a convenience to you. But still, you pursued me when I moved to London and then mere months later you broke your promise to marry me. I’ve no doubt, based on your earlier dating behaviour, you double dated N and I then (1981), just as you did later in 1986-87 – when you lived in Leicester with N and had an affair with me in London and Nottingham. And let’s not forget, it was YOU again who pursued me and started that affair. So, all of this and the years of ongoing contact after was meaningless to you. But to me – something very damaging that has taken me decades to come to terms with. For the record – a couple of things that I never challenged you on during our chats – but now I feel free to comment honestly on. Again, I remind you that I am paraphrasing what I remember because I will not re-read those hours of exchanges. You need to get over the poor parenting you think you received. Plenty of people had far worse childhoods than did you, and experienced real neglect. And that thing that you wrote for your Mum’s funeral – so poor, so disrespectful. How could you disparage her ability to love her children in that manner - apparently just to respect your toxic sister’s feelings. If you wouldn’t have said that to her face you should not have said it in her eulogy. Shame on you. Don’t ever make an apology in another language. Not even Latin. It is the equivalent to “I’m sorry if you took offence….” apologies. Meaningless, and the truth is - the damage that you inflicted upon me took years and years to work through and to find healing. You wrote about wishing you had protected me from David! What a disingenuous thing to say. You didn’t distrust David for any reason other than you thought I fancied him when we first started dating! The only person I have ever needed protecting from is you. Finally, you dared to call me a liar! Over the silliest of exchanges (my contact in the Adult Literacy project and what I may or may not have said to them regarding you, and my motivation for that mention). So just to remind you we both know you are one of the Greatest Liars ever conceived. Where shall I start? How about your damaged pancreas from a parachute jump when you were with 1 Para (antibiotics were in fact for your acne), double dating myself and S, living with N in Leicester at the weekend and seeing me (and surely others) in London during the week. You perfected Gaslighting before it was ever named. Best of all – your Wedding Vows….ha! Do not EVER, EVER contact me again. You are a bad experience I wish never to be reminded of again and contact with a terrible human, such as you, adds no value to my life.

Instead: Focused on regaining my emotional equilibrium, being thankful that you'd again revealed your true self and getting back to my lovely life. It has taken 18 months hard work to recover from your spite but I am fine, and grateful for closure.

Gail, day 372

Was it all worth it for you to use all my insecurities and vulnerabilities as a weapon to prove your point? Those weren't the words of a partner. Those were words of someone who is blinded by hatred fueled by your impossible to meet standards. I hope you made the right decision for your son. our son.

Anonymous, day 3

I wonder what she saw in you. Must have been the undeniable appeal of the huge beer belly, the farting, the mouth-breathing, the death-breath, the bone-idleness, the premature ejaculation. That must have been it. Or maybe it was purely the money *I* earned and brought to our so-called marriage that supported you, our son, and your mistress for 25 years. To her you must have looked like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, if you could just have found enough backbone to dump me and our son after just 8 years of marriage? I guess you preferred to live comfortably and seem to be a decent person. Now I know what a total piece of shit you and your entire family are. If you think it was "love" you're definitely stupider than I thought.

Instead: Working hard to reach a state of radical acceptance of what a POS you are. That's a work in progress. Started taking good care of myself and my health in order to outlive you so I can have you cremated and flush your ashes down the toilet and then sue her for alienation of affection

Eve, day 1687

Santa came more than I did in the 20 years we were together and you wondered why I stopped wanting to have sex with you. The tears I cried everytime you let me down, were the wettest you ever made me. When I catch myself thinking about you, I remember who you actually are and am thankful that I learnt to love myself, and in doing so left you behind. Be better for our child's sake. Go to therapy. Not being loved enough as a child, is not an acceptable justification for your behaviour.

Aroha