All of them

Throughout our time together (37 years) I searched for connection, partnership, reassurance and emotional safety. I tried to communicate my needs, raised concerns, suggested solutions, and repeatedly tried to repair what was broken between us. You often said the right things, but action and meaningful change rarely followed. Hope turned into disappointment, disappointment into resentment, and resentment into exhaustion. You just complained how your life was so miserable, how you lost yourself. I loved the person you showed me in the beginning. Over time, however, I learned that relationships are not defined by how they start, but by what people consistently choose to do. I kept holding onto who you once were while being repeatedly hurt by who you became. And who you became is not my fault. You hurt me, said sorry, but didn’t want to repair what was broken. So I changed but you just wanted the old version of me without doing the work that would make me feel safe again. An apology is not a changed behavior: accountability isn’t saying sorry, it’s caring enough to rebuild what was broken. I forgave when I was broken: I still loved you but needed you to help me heal: my normal was a place where I kept getting hurt: that emotional impact is too much. Your avoidance is a reflection of your fear of everything that is needed to function in a relationship. It was a choice you made; you let your fears control your behaviors. The ghosting was the final indication of your character. It was so simple … take responsibility for your actions, be kind and caring of me, but you chose yourself and ran away.

Instead: Bought a sex toy

Anonymous · day 126

I'd be the best thing to ever happen to you but you said no and went for a safe easy option. I know it's not you I actually want and you've just become a challenge but I can't get you out of my head.

Instead: Truthfully.. Ate biscuits

Anonymous · day 3

I am so tired of this. After all this time I don't even know who I am anymore outside of a mother, employee, and homemaker because of you.

Instead: Deleted it, locked my phone, and got back to work.

Anonymous

I opened up to you. I told you time and time again how safe you made me feel. We talked about a future, about me meeting your kids, about me moving 250 miles to be closer to you. I looked for jobs and apartments. All for you to ghost me for another woman, who I assume you were seeing the whole time. Talk about a mind fuck.

Instead: Got my butt up and went to work.

Anonymous · day 38

You were my friend. I secretly loved you - you were married - and I didn't dare say anything. You decided one day to start love bombing me. Then twisted my heart and soul into a nervous breakdown when you ghosted me when deciding that I wasn't it for you. I hope you continue being unloved in that marriage of yours. You deserve it.

Instead: Opened my heart to a new opportunity, leading me into the healthiest relationship of my life.

Anonymous · day 555

I miss my friend.

Instead: I sent it via email.

Erica · day 223

Your rejection of my love is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. It brings tears to my eyes everytime i think about it. I trusted you, i always gave you the benefit of the doubt but somehow i was never enough for you. I don't know if anybody will ever fit your standard or expectations but i know its not me. Im walking away from you because it doesn't serve me to stay somewhere I’m not loved for who I am.

Anonymous

I fell in love with you when I shouldn't have. I still love you. I'm afraid I will always love you. You're beautiful, kind, funny, and for the first time in a very long time you made me feel like I matter to someone. I'm married and I have children. I love my children and I could never imagine a life away from them, and more importantly I'm afraid to emotionally damage them for the sake of my happiness. I hope you find someone who treats you and appreciates you the same way that I would have done in a different life.

Instead: Bottled everything up and carried on with life.

M · day 4000000

How could you. How could you make me feel like you truly see me. How could you make me feel that I can finally rely on someone. How could your hug be the best thing that happened to me in ages? How could you tell me you love me? But all of it was just lies. You are just a great manipulator. Nothing of it mean anything to you. And here I am, broken to pieces. With the reopened old wound that I never be enough for someone to chose me. That I am only "chosen" for what I provide. What you see useful and you can take from me without giving back. Spiraling again, hating myself again that I am never enough and I am not able to attract anyone who would appreciate me for me. Who would be, for a change, excited to take care of me. Where I could finally exhale and feel safe. How could you just walk away, when I was at my lowest? You walked away, unaffected. And I am here, thinking if love will ever find me. It hurts so much that I want to scream and shout, because the pain is so heavy and unfair. You left me and I have no hope. No self-confidence. The only thing that is left, is longing. I can't read books anymore, because there is always a man who cares about a woman with wounds and make her loved and bloom. And here I am, just getting old and losing hope. My life is difficult enough. So... how could you?

Instead: Cried and hugged myself.

Anonymous · day 258

Your ignorance, racism, jealousy, lies, control, and the manipulation you did with your mom will never ruin the good in me. I’ve seen your real face, you’ve got evil in you and that i could never have even if i wanted you. Shame on you! Shame on your family for treating me like this. Shame on you for wanting to take over my life! Shame on you for isolating me from my friends and family! I’ve learned a lot tho.. I dodged a fucking bullet.

Anonymous

I think I love you. Actually, no, I am sure of it. But you don't want a LT relationship. And this situationship we are living in is destroying me slowly. I want more. I want to feel free to kiss you in public (because damn, you are sexy !) and to tell my daughter that you are my boyfriend, not "just a friend". I want real connexion with you, not only the (very good) sex. Ok, I wanted news (S)experiments and we are having them, but I feel empty after having them. Like my body has been fed, but my soul won't. So, what do we do ? We keep going like this, until the ratio between the joy and the pain starts to be unbalanced and I am completely fed up of this ? Or are you going to man up and assume that you love me too ? Because I am sure of it. You are just too afraid to being vulnerable towards a woman again. I understand. The last one has been specially psycho to you. You are facing so many problems because of her. I know you want to protect me from all of this court ruling & custody stuff. But please, be honest with yourself... and with me. You told me yesterday that 20 years ago, you should have dared to tell me your feelings towards me. And that we could have been such a great family with beautiful children. In January 2026, we ran into each other again, and right away, the chemistry was there. We were attracted to each other, on the same wavelength—but it just wasn’t the right time for you to commit to something serious. So I agreed to settle for that. How will things turn out? We have no idea. All I know right now is that I just want to come and drive far away from everything that’s keeping us from living this love (because yes, there is love between us—stop lying to yourself). So, are you with me?

Instead: Wiped away my tears and went back to work...

Aurelie

I gave you all of me and somehow you betrayed that with not an ounce of remorse. you said that "I was YOUR person, your favorite human" time and time again... I didn't believe you at first, but you convinced me. As a person who feels out of place everywhere You made me feel comfortable in a way I had never felt before. When you came to my house - you called it "home", when you asked me to come to you, you did the same. I didn't mean to, but I fell for you harder than I care to admit - even though I didn't want to, but you made it easy by making me feel safe, seen, and heard, until you changed on a whim and your attention faded. I know I'm better off without you, I know you meant more to me than I did to you. But I Miss You nonetheless!!!! The warmth, the closeness, openness, laughs - you drifting off to sleep right next to me. If only you loved me enough to treat me the same in person as you did apart. The late nights out, lack of communication, the disappearing and expectation of me to be okay with it. I loved you completely and you loved me when it suited you. I made the right choice by walking away.... but I just want you to know.....Though we can never be together again... I Still Miss You!!!! and even after it all, all the lies and hurt and pain. I still love you somehow.

Anonymous · day 41

Your ADHD trauma cycle is fucking up our son

Instead: Cried

Anonymous · day 1000

I love you. Your friendship has helped unlock parts of me I forgot existed. I crave deep connections with people, but very rarely find them, so this might be hitting me harder than it should. You're definitely a bit of a fuck boy, but I can't help myself. I enjoy the friendship we have, and don't want to lose that, but if you told me you wanted to see where this could go, I'd melt. I'm holding so much back

Instead: Walked it off

Anonymous

I miss you so fucking much and I regret hurting you but I can't take any of it back. Neither can you. It took me a few days to see you weren't the only one to blame. We both contributed to the end of our relationship. I wish you only joy—but I'm still trying to find mine.

Instead: Joined a gym, planned a MeetUp event to meet friends, made plans with my cousins. Reached out to friends until I realized I was tired of centering the breakup instead of caring for myself.

Anonymous · day 1

I think the reality is I have no words to say that will bring back the version I adhored without going through the toxicity of the version you became. I was lost in an addiction that was a trauma bond. Neither of us need to keep going on this same hamster wheel. Perhaps you’ll wake up. Perhaps I’ll still be open to the authentic apology. For now I’m walking on by and using every tool I can to keep saving myself from this insanity.

Instead: Went in the garden, drank coffee, meditated and journaled realising this is day 1 (again)

Katie · day 1

Why do you keep chasing me? I ended it 4 times. Yet you flooded by messages with houses. I caved. Thought you would change, but you got worse. I paid the bills!! You ordered off Amazon. I bought the groceries. You chased me over 800 miles. Why did you try to take a country girl who rides and competes horses and change her to a stripper girl? 8 inch heels? Why couldn’t you let me be? This is it stay in Ohio and let me be. Your pathetic messages begging me to come back. Just stop!!!

Instead: Went to the gym

Anonymous · day 1

I wanted to date as I felt we could build on our strong connection and get to know each other properly. And I was happy to agree to take it slow, we said we'd communicate as we both really liked each other. You talked about going to an event together and it being the first official outing as us. You planned dates but then backed off. It was obvious how I felt as we messaged and I expected honesty back. Had you been clear and spoken to me about how you were feeling earlier it would have allowed me to move on rather than believe you were purely busy. Genuine friends talk about how they're feeling. But we're not friends. We were intimate. I'm not willing to drop my standards to keep you feeling like this was okay. So we can't be friends even if it hurts me to not be able to talk to you anymore. Even if I feel we had something pretty special. You don't get access to me in that way because it's easier for you. It's harder for me. No more.

Instead: Painted.

Anonymous · day 19

I did not deserve what you did to me

Anonymous

You love bombed me and told me you want a future with me. I told u I was pregnant and u told me u wasn’t ready and ghosted me. I had a miscarriage at the weekend so you are fully free of me now. Yet I still care so much. Wish I didn’t. But would give anything to see your name flash up on my phone

Instead: Cried

Anonymous · day 4

I miss you but I dont. You hurt me too much. But I cant forget about how good we can be. I know you felt it too. But you were too selfish to choose only me. Now you are texting me, but you just feel sorry for yourself for losing access to me. It was never because you truly loved me and never wanted to see me hurting. Fuck you, love you

Instead: Got a shower and went to work

Anonymous · day 28

I still think of you every day, the loss of you is huge, not even a friendship to salvage at the end. I don’t understand any of it.

Instead: Had a cup of tea

Anonymous · day 62

It hurt so much for so long because I trusted you. I told you all about the most challenging parts of me. And thought you understood. You said you cared. You said you'd be there for always. You said I was an important person to you. Yet, you dropped me. I want to say how disappointed I am in you. How weak you now seem. Now that I've taken you down from the pedestal I put you on. I've grown following our break up. You lack the self-awareness to have so. Which is mind-bending considering your profession. You were the first thing I thought upon waking and the last at night. I thought I'd never heal. Yet somehow here I am. Nearly there. Not the same, more streetwise, but healing. You did nothing to help this process and if you see me out and about, please know everything it took to get here was due to my determination. Don't stop to take an ounce of credit. I've learned a lot. You were a fairweather friend and I pity you in all honesty. Even though it's hard to write that. You lack substance. Loving you so much gives me an insight into how wounded I was at that time. How I only saw what I wanted to see. I see you clearly now. All the best. You are the person others said you were and I was too blind to see.

Instead: Went for a run.

Anonymous · day 268

I wish you cared enough to stop choosing your comfort above my pain. I wish you stopped lying. I wish I stopped loving you and break up earlier. You say you couldn't take that the price of our relationship was my health, my well-being, my life. But you did. It was totally okay, to lie, to betray and you told it "different interpretation of truth". This doesn't exist. There is truth and lies, that's it. I'm angry that I loved you this much to believe you'll change when there was only evidence that you won't. Not because you couldn't, but because you were not willing to change. You choose alcohol over me, but said you love me. You said, you love me and I shouldn't suffer, but you made me suffer. You. Did. Not. Care. I'm so angry and disappointed from myself for still loving you. I did everything I could to save you from your demons and at the end, mine were nearly killing me. I'm done. I will no longer try to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. I choose myself again, after two years choosing firstly you. It's six weeks after the ending of our relationship and I did not cry. Not once. I feel like myself again. I feel free. I feel like a lovable human being. It hurts to say it to you and I'm sorry for it, but leaving you, was the best I could do for my own sanity. I am happy and I started to live my life again. I loved you very deeply but you really nearly destroyed me and I hope you'll get this someday and understand what you did.

Instead: Cuddle my cats

C. · day 44

There’s something I still don’t understand, and I don't know if I ever will. How did I go from being the love of your life, someone you spent four years loving and building a life with, to someone you could cut out of your life like I meant nothing? How did you go from sitting beside me on my couch when you came to see me and Ausi to “user not found” on my phone within days? I’m not asking this to argue or change anything. Every time I’ve reached out through all of this, I’ve just been trying to navigate my grief in the dark and find even a little spark of light. I just genuinely want to understand what happened inside you that made four years of loving me turn into this much coldness so quickly. And honestly, it’s hard not to feel like you got to find whatever answers and closure you needed, then shut the door before I ever got the chance to find mine. Because I’m still trying to reconcile the person who told me I was the love of his life with the person who seems to have forgotten I ever mattered.

Mavis Blue · day 24

I still love and miss you so much. I will forever be confused at how you treated me.

Instead: Deleted it and cried.

Anonymous · day 82

I wait for you. I checked my phone multiple times every day to see if you have text me. I’ve managed to put you in the archived section of my phone so my heart doesn’t leap every time I hear a notification sound. You know he would be good together and you told me that I was your other half, you believe that people were two parts of a wheel and that I was your other half. I don’t know if you are ever going to come my way. But I know that I’m not moving on. I need to know if we can be together and make it work. I’m on a dating app but every time anybody shows any interest in me at all I just measure them against you which is ridiculous and I never go beyond looking at these people’s profiles because I’m fearful that you might turn around and your divorce come through and you’ll be able to say that you’re Ready and I will be with somebody else and I don’t know that I would really recover from that

Instead: Walk the dogs

Anonymous

Thank you for all the moments we shared. I forgot I still have the capacity to love and genuinely care like that for another man and was starting to believe that all the men surrounding me were trash. There are still good men out there and now I know that thanks to you. It was clear from the beginning that it would be just sex but really,have you seen yourself? How could any girl can not just fall in love with a man as gentle and tender like you? Well I tried and failed and it's best we leave it because it's not that moment for you and I know now there are good men as well so let me open my self for that instead of waiting for your reply message from 2 days ago. Inconsistencie kills every good thing.

Instead: Started to listen to podcasts about the brain and haw it works, neuroscience, neuroplasticity and epigenetics so that I can know myself and why a make the choices I make and so, make healthier ones.

Moxie

Hey. I’m not trying to question or change how this has landed. No Thai invitations here. We always promised transparency, and I want you to know that our connection (in all its forms) has been really important to me. I don’t need anything from you, but I think we deserve a kinder end than me feeling confused and wondering what I did wrong. An organic fade out because of circumstances or chemistry is totally fine, but the silence doesn’t feel like it honours what was a really nice, honest, real thing. Last week when you said you’d let me know about catching up on the weekend, I backed off because I know you have other priorities and I didn’t want you to feel any pressure to spend your only free time with me. I don’t know if that came across as me being annoyed or trying to make a point, but that genuinely wasn’t what I was doing. I’m not sending this because I expect anything from you. I just don’t want there to be any misunderstanding. This meant a lot to me and I’m sad but I’m ok. But the ending doesn’t seem fair or fitting, because I really want to remember this as a brief but intense, and very BL connection with someone I genuinely give a shit about. 🫡 That’s all. Not asking you to fix it. Just wanting you to know it. PS. Promise you’ll book Japan. You deserve it.

Instead: Edited. And edited. And edited again. Then decided that he didn’t deserve this energy from me.

Anonymous · day 40

I'm so sick of feeling like drinking takes a higher priority in your life than me and the kids. They (and I) desperately want to love you and for you to have a happy and healthy life, but when you drink you push us away

Anonymous

You’re a fucking broke, insecure bully. Thanks for doing me a huge favor. Good luck finding someone who will love you like I did. I’m confident you’ll destroy it like you have every other relationship. You are the most unappreciative person ever. Everything I’ve done for you over the years and stuck with you through. You wouldn’t be close to where you are right now if it wasn’t for me. You’ll realize that all soon enough. Have fun in bankruptcy court. Funny…. Makes total sense now. Take the easy way out in every aspect of life huh? Let’s just break things completely instead of trying to listen and learn to fix things. It all makes sense. I hope for your daughter’s sake, you get it together. My advice to you…. Quit trying to keep up with everyone else and nurture your own shit. Since I met you, you’ve always been insecure about what you have and now it’s put you in a debt situation you can’t fix. Quit trying to be like Justin and all of those other guys. Or, talk to them and see how they treat the ones they love bc it ain’t like you treat the ones you love and that’s completely obvious. They warned me you could be irrational and angry from the beginning. And that’s what ended us. I should’ve listened and not wasted four years of my daughter and I’s life trying to make you happy. You’re a miserable person. You try to say others are but you’re deflecting bc you are exactly what you say other people are. You just hide it well. Go drink yourself stupid and pretend you’re still a fucking 20 year old. Glory days are over boo. Grow the fuck up and have a nice fucking life.

Instead: Doom scrolled on Facebook until I found this page

Bee · day 1

I wish I was brave enough to tell you that, when you and mum split up, and you both asked me to choose who to live with, I desperately wanted to pick you, dad! I only picked mum because at the time (third grade) I thought she would get angry if I didn't

Anonymous

I wait never knowing if you are coming back. My heart waits for you. Checking for your text multiple times a day. I deserve to be loved and cherished. You know how incredible we would be together. I can’t seem to move on. I’m on a dating app and the minute someone is interested in me I know it’s not you and wonder if you’ll text me telling me you’re ready so I don’t do anything. I don’t move on I just sit waiting for you to break me again. I love you.

Instead: Heading out to walk the dogs

Anonymous

I wish you were able to hear my hurts and truly hear them. Instead, you’re so self-absorbed that you feel like the world’s worst person and then it becomes all about you again. No true apology or path forward. Just me talking you off the cliff of a nervous breakdown again. I’m tired of losing myself to keep you stable. I can’t keep abandoning myself this way. You have so much good in you, and yet you’re so chaotic, unpredictable, and emotionally messy that it’s ruining my ability to live a functional life. One minute you’re fun and free. The next you’re a wreck and I can’t figure out why. Then you pretend like that never happened at all. I never know how to handle the emotional rollercoaster you’ve dragged me onto. I fear the codependence is so strong that I’ll never be able to breathe freely. Somehow you made it this far before me. Can you keep going once I leave completely? I worry about your ability to be independent, and I feel so guilty for breaking your heart. I just want peace.

Instead: Went to bed

Anonymous · day 17

maybe you found it hard to love me, but i am NOT hard to love. i have it proven to me every day by the people around me that i'm EASY to love. it's taken me a long time to feel worthy of it but i know there are so many people whose hearts i've touched, who are grateful they met me, who care for me and think of me when i'm not around. because i put my whole heart into everything i do and i love with everything i have, and yes it fucks me over sometimes but it also has allowed me to experience so much genuine love in return and it's so worth it. i KNOW i have people in my life who i could call in the middle of the night for help. even more i could call just to talk. can you say the same? i've seen the way you treat your friends. i have a feeling i know the answer i wish i could say it back to you, but the truth is you weren't hard to love. it came so naturally. but i'm discovering as the days go on, and the more i heal from the way you messed with my head, that this was because loving comes naturally to me in general. you did nothing to deserve it. and you've so thoroughly proved you were not worth it

Instead: lied in bed and listened to music

Anonymous · day 1

I would have given you the world, instead, you gave me chlamydia.

Instead: Cried

Anonymous · day 1

I will never forgive myself for not being able to save you.

Anonymous

I wish I knew what I did to make you hate me so much that you could become so cruel. Or if it's your own past trauma you can't move on from, why you think I deserved to be treated in such hurtful ways. You took everything I told you that my ex had done... the horrible things he said to me over years and years... and you did the same...after making me feel like you were a safe person for me. Then it was like a switch flipped, and the safe space disappeared. I suddenly heard the hurtful things again that my ex used to say with you abandoning me in subtle ways... and I found myself in the same space of trying to figure out if I was "too much" again. If he said it for decades and you were saying it now... someone I had felt so safe with that you knew all about the emotional and mental abuse I had been through once... then maybe there really was something wrong with me. It took me a long time to be able to look at you without compassion for everything you told me that you went through in your past relationship (was it even true?)... and to stop seeing your potential... and to realize that maybe you're just another asshole trying to make me feel like there's something wrong with me just because I am capable and competent and strong and independent and have a brain and my own money and don't NEED a man... especially one who can't regulate his own emotions or ego or actually communicate how he's feeling. I've made so many excuses for you that you had so much trauma from your past blah blah blah. Well past trauma doesn't give you the right to be cruel to others. It took some time but I've finally seen the light... because I spent time trying to make sure you never felt the way I felt with my ex... walking on eggshells... wondering when the emotional abuse would start. Yet you seemed, during the last 10 months especially, to actively find ways to be cruel to me. I don't know if you went through trauma or if you were part of a dual trauma relationship, so I still wish you the best...I hope you get the therapy you need. I hope you learn to take care of yourself. I hope you realize your part in your relationship issues so you don't hurt someone else as much as you've hurt me. Like I said to you after that shitty birthday text... and after the name calling continued... you hurt someone who never deserved it. You've been incredibly hurtful and cruel. I can't imagine how much internal pain someone must be in to treat someone the way you've treated me. I really hope you can overcome whatever that is. I'm sad to have lost the friendship I thought we had...but it's not something healthy anymore. Maybe it never was, and my biggest flaw is seeing potential instead of reality. There's my lesson out of this I guess.

Instead: Listened to Jennifer Lopez "Love of my life" on repeat, along with Avici "Without you", Gayle "abcdef" and Noah Kahan "Dashboard". Sometimes for a long time when I'm alone or whenever I'm driving in the car. Wrote down a timeline of the relationship and the cruel things said and done...to have it documented and to stop my ADD brain from replaying it over and over. Wrote songs using ai to make light of some of the nasty things you've said... the sarcastic line "is my volume on?!?!" when yelling at me over a video call is now the main chorus line to one of my favorite songs. By lightening it with humor it helps take the power of the hurtful memory away.

Anonymous · day 175

I had a really good day, HP. I met my new friend for a walk. It was just normal, and nice. I like him…but I love you. I’ve been watching videos, “if you think about it, I think you’ll realize you don’t miss them. You miss the version of yourself,” blah, blah, blah. No, I miss you. I miss that we could play together. I miss that when I told you I wasn’t hugged as a kid and that’s why I loved hugging you, you hugged me more that day…and in the store in the middle of everyone. I miss that you hit me with cheese. I miss that you were always joking. I miss who I could be with you (myself) but more importantly, I miss who you let me see. I got glimpses of the most wonderful person. There was no big fight. Just two people who couldn’t meet on the same page. I know we’re both missing each other now. We were each others person, but we both hurt the other. I love you, friend. To the moon and back. There are things about you I don’t miss, but I miss who you were and I which I could make hug you again. He hugged me today. It didn’t feel the same. I hope you’re sleeping well. Later gator.

Instead: Cry a little. Going to bed.

C · day 30

My love, I haven't gone a day without praying for you. Even when there are days where I consider everything a nightmare. And I think the reason why I can’t move on is instead of hating you, I hated myself. I am hating myself for not fighting against your decision even just once. I hated myself for not convincing you that we can make it work. Hated that I cannot assure you and probably made you feel trapped that you had to run. I hate that I taught myself to accept you in my life only for you to abandon me. I feel stupid. You defined and destroyed the definition of love for me. I am scared I won’t be able to open my heart again the way I did it for you. How I cried myself in front of you to testify everything in my life and how God met me at my lowest point. I will always remember that moment when you told me you love me for the very first time. And until now, I am confused if you truly love me or as you said, you were just blinded by the potential. Of what it could have been. May our God deal with you favorably as an answer to my prayers. May you achieve all the dreams that you have for your family. Don’t be too sacrificial all the time Kai. Only God can help everyone. God didn’t created you to just suffer. He wants you to also be happy and be loved. I am rooting for your happiness even if we might never meet again. I am happy to be part of your life even just a short while. Please never forget. You are my Philippians 1:8. I love you. So much. Kit.

Instead: I prayed.

Kit · day 37

I wasn’t prepared for the grief, that to this day still hits me in waves, of realizing that you were okay with letting me feel safe inside a reality that you already knew you were going to destroy.

Instead: Went for a walk around my neighborhood

Stacey · day 222

For fifteen years you promised you would never hurt me. And then you discarded me with no notice. I don’t care about the cheating, I care about the cruelty in the aftermath. You have broken me all the way down, you have hurt our daughters. And old you, you before her, would be horrified. This is his worst nightmare. He’s screaming at me from the past to save our beautiful family. And I can’t.

Instead: Deep breath. Kept working.

Elyse · day 364

I know you need to take care of your family right now. But damn I wish you’d let me take care of you.

Anonymous · day 2

You were so perfect in almost every single way. I asked you if you’d quit even if it meant losing me and you said no. You were a short time in my life but I knew I wanted to love you. I hope you felt loved. I hope you get to see your worth like I do. You’re such a great person and I truly wish you get to have the best life. I miss you so much.

Anonymous

I love you I love you I love you. You reminded me what tenderness is. I feel beautiful again. You are not meant for me. You do not love me the way I need. And I love you I love you I love you. I love.

Anonymous

Te odio te amo ya no te extraño

Paz · day 60

I wish you had cared enough about me to be real and honest with me. The stonewalling hurts, and I never did or said anything to deserve this. I get the sense that the constant digging banter and sharing of memes was a way for you to engage with me without ever putting yourself in a vulnerable position where you could potentially get hurt. Even if you weren't interested in more, I would have loved to remain friends, and this return to nothing just makes me sad. I feel unbelievably sorry for you and hope that one day you let someone in. You're not a terrible person, and you deserve love. One day, I really hope that you find it.

Instead: I spent time with my friends and family, took myself out on dates, went outside and got a tan, stopped waiting for them to respond, and just tried to enjoy life.

Anonymous · day 5

You did the things we both had said we wouldn't. You left me after we got intimate, you blamed your autism for not being able to communicate, I called you out and you dumped me by text saying you weren't ready for a relationship and I was too good for you. Then you went no contact, my nervous system was wrecked by you. Then I found out you lied about something, I suspect you lied about a lot more. I will leave karma to deal with you.

Instead: Tried to sleep

Anonymous · day 97

Do you miss me?

Anonymous · day 117

If you had just told me, I would have tried to make it right. I own my actions and my mistakes. You never gave me a chance. You never admitted your part. I will love you forever, but you have destroyed me. I hope you sleep soundly at night.

Instead: Sent it in. Read a book.

Anonymous · day 112

I hate that this is what I thought love was. I hate what I became because of you. What I allowed myself to become. You promised to protect me, but watched as more and more of me disappeared and you were fine with that. I still love you. I just need to love me, more.

Anonymous · day 28

It makes me so sad to know that I trusted you in spite of everything I knew and it all turned out the way I suspected it will in spite of your reassurances, now I’m caught in the middle of your mess and I have to heal my heart all over again. I guess I’m just glad it didn’t go on longer.

Instead: Spent some quality time with myself.

Anonymous

Dad, I hate you so much. When we were little and thought you were living in Germany, but your car pulled up next to ours on a random street on a nondescript night, it broke something in me. I could not have convinced that my own father would cross an ocean, a rare occurance for him at the time, and not want to see his kids. The depth of that rejection and betrayal created such a rift in my fundamental sense of security. When you did it again last week and I had to see that you had crossed and even bigger ocean and did not contact me or want to see me, I realized that all these years, I've been waiting and hoping for evidence that you do care, that you do love me, that I'm worthy of being chosen. And I realize that I've carried that pattern into my adult relationships. If I'm not being lovebombed, it doesn't feel like enough reassurance because I know how easy it was for you to cast me aside. When someone starts treating me poorly, I wait and hope that they'll show they love me after all, when I should just walk away. Now that I've seen the pattern, I'm ending the pattern. I can't wait around for you to choose to love me, it's been 44 years. So f*ck you and the pain and heartbreak you've caused me.

Instead: Started healing my inner child and her anxious attachment.

Anonymous · day 7

I still experience the occasional dream with you in it. In this dream, you are present, you are hovering around, which confirms that you are wandering within my subconscious. This happened a few days ago. You were in my dream, in my home, and present in the living room, just standing there in an ordinary way. Of course, these dreams prompt me to wake up immediately. A second dream followed a few days later where I see a message on my phone, from you, the profuse apology. The Freudian analysis of this, or even a Jungian analysis would state that this is based on subconscious wishes, but I have revisited these thoughts, and I know that there is nothing further to discuss or revisit. Being involved with you showed me my capacity for love and to love, but it also introduced me to your shadow, and I’ve since learned that many women experience this shadow in the form of intermittent reinforcement, silences, breadcrumbing, excuses, lies. I now know how to observe it earlier on, and I know to keep myself safe. I also believe that you now sit there, and over analyse, because that is what your professional role is, your role and you are somewhat shocked at the person you are capable of being, and how that cruel person is not a person you ever imagined yourself to be. I leave you with that thought. I leave you to re-read our messages. I leave you to remember all our time together and my role in being your friend, as well as a lover. To listen to your concerns about your work, to assure you when you thought you would lose opportunities, to be there to offer suggestions when you had questions about your capacity to continue working in a toxic environment. I have learned my worth as a person in a way I did not anticipate and now it is seared in my mind, heart and soul. I always wish you happiness and fulfillment in your choices and endeavours, but I cannot remove the reality of your capacity to hurt. You may have not meant it or whatever else, but this is something that is yours to carry now. I have to live my life, find my way and I’m getting there.

Instead: Went for a walk and grabbed a coffee to sit in the sun.

A · day 765

Do I get chosen in the end? I want a happy ever after with you but I keep feeling like that is impossible.

Anonymous · day 200

I hate dismissive Avoidants. I hate how your mother raised you. I hate how I let this happen for two decades and three kids. I hate that I can’t tell the seventh grader the truth. I hate that I did what the therapists say it do, and rather than leaning in, you asked for a divorce.

Anonymous

You told me you loved me and proceeded to pick someone else. I gave so much of myself to you in such a short time. Hope you know what you did.

Anonymous

You could have had this version of me. You could have had a version of me that thrives. Instead, you needed me to be small, so I was. You could have had *this* version of me, but you chose not to.

Anonymous · day 758

I hate how you ended things without giving me a chance to fight for us. I hate how I still don't hate you. I hate that I can't let you go. I wanted to marry you. My kids even cared about you. And it got too real. I hate that I understand that. I love you. Always.

Anonymous · day 70

You are truly the worst mistake I have ever made. I believed you when you said you were going to move here, after almost 3 years together, and seeing each other every month for weeks at a time, how could I not? But you were lying the whole time. I thought planning our retirement, where we would live after my son graduated high school, etc was all real. Now I am sitting here like an idiot grieving our relationship and the future I thought I was going to have with you. One of the last things you said to me, while sobbing, was your biggest fear is one day you will wake up and realize you made a huge mistake letting me go. I hope it is today, and every day, from now until you take your last breath! I do not forgive you, I never will. People like you don't deserve forgiveness.

Instead: I sat with my cat on my lap who is staring lovingly into my eyes and did some work instead.

Lisa · day 121

You have a very cruel side. You think you are a good man but you are a weak coward. Your kids don’t talk to you, you don’t have friends, you had me and decided to throw it all away with a grand idea of moving to SE Asia. You will be such a cliche. Just another old white man looking for a poor, young Asian woman. That “relationship” will be transactional and you will look like a fool.

Instead: Typed it here

Anonymous · day 60

You knew exactly what hurt me before, what I was worried about, you promised and reassured me and then you went ahead and did the exact thing I worried about. You left. Without giving me a chance to change anything. Without being honest. And without acknowledging the damage YOU have done. You put it all on me, but you are also at fault. All I wanted to do was love you and be there for you, you quit me because I was too intense for you. Maybe you should look at yourself and your inability to care about anyone the way I care about you. I forgive you. And I miss you endlessly despite the incredible pain you have caused me.

Anonymous · day 116

Will you ever choose me?

Anonymous

She manipulates you. She's abusive. I'm so sorry you don't see it, but I do. And I can't keep watching that anymore. I just can't. I love you so deeply, and I can't keep watching her hurt you. You deserve better.

Anonymous · day 406

I know I said that I don’t want any connections with you even if I went back to a mutual page we share. Part of me wants to renew an acquaintance connection though. A tiny part. But then I remind myself that you told me that you were dishonest with me. Now I see your character…and I don’t want to surround myself with dishonesty. Btw, don’t tell someone you were thinking about eloping when you had no intention of keeping it. That part hurt the most. I thought I was safe until the truth came to light.

Anonymous · day 204

Do you miss me? Do you miss all the laughs, all the inside jokes, all the fun we had, all the memories we made over the past 10 years? Was being with her worth losing me? Do you regret walking away?

Anonymous · day 400

I keep thinking about that night you got a bit drunk and started talking about names, actual names, for kids we didn't even have yet, and you seemed so sure about it, so happy talking about it, and I remember thinking that's the moment, that's when I knew I wanted a whole life with you. We talked about that stuff properly, not just once, loads of times, where we'd live, what kind of parents we'd be, you even said you hoped they'd get my eyes. And then you went and slept with your best mate's sister. Not a stranger, not someone from work, someone who was practically family to you, someone who's been at every birthday, every Christmas, for years. I don't even know how you looked either of them in the eye afterwards, let alone me. I think about that list of names sometimes, it's still saved somewhere, I haven't deleted it, and I don't know why I haven't, maybe because deleting it feels like admitting none of it was ever going to happen anyway. It's mad how you can go from planning an entire future with someone to finding out they threw it all away for one stupid decision that had nothing to do with love and everything to do with not thinking about anyone but yourself. I don't think I'll ever fully understand how you held both of those things in your head at the same time, talking about our future with me and doing that behind my back. I don't need an explanation anymore, I don't think there is one that would actually make sense of it. I don't think you ever really understood what you took away from me that night

Instead: Watched Bridget Jones's Diary

Ellie · day 35

You made promises you had no intention of keeping

Anonymous · day 400

you didn't even give me a proper reason, just packed up and went

Instead: Scrolled through tiktok

Sam · day 4

Yes I did love you. Yes you did hurt me. Yes there is someone else now.

Instead: Called my best friend and said it to her

Jenny · day 84

My Darling. You were never my dark angel. You’re a broken little boy. I miss you, but I never ever want to hear from you again. I get so many things by now. I understand what happened. But I can’t say goodbye yet.

Instead: Had a shower

Laura · day 248

You have betrayed me in every possible way. You have burned down every bridge, lost everyone who was important to you, because of your own behaviour. Nobody can trust a word you say, and nobody will ever trust you again. All you had to do was tell the truth. You went out of your way to destroy me just to cover up your lies. Thank god it didn't work. I hope it was worth it.

Instead: Ran 12 kilometres

Anonymous · day 456

I hate that I still love. Hate that I want to be you. That I’m not strong. I’m better than this and yet I still return. I’ve wasted 3 years of my life on you and damaged my mental health. I hard I need you to make me feel better

Francesca · day 180

You let me down. I don’t really need to say anything more than that. You know what you have done

Anonymous

Porque no me eliges?

Anonymous

A week and a half after the ending and you saying you have to let me go, I’m hurt but still standing. You’re right, letting me go was necessary. My life is not meant to be spent with someone unsure about me. I would’ve given you everything, devotion, loyalty, support, and love. You said no, you’d rather stay within your comfortable walls not knowing if what I want is something you’ll ever be able to give. I deserve better. I forgive myself solely for trying to fit my mansion life inside your small studio sized capacity. I know I’ll be fine with time. And no, you’re not a good guy for “letting me go”. You just ran away scared because being with me would need you to grow. You manipulated me and gaslighted me long enough. I’ll do all I can now to move on from you.

Instead: Told myself it hurts but going back is not an option.

Anonymous · day 9

You totally destroyed me but I still miss you two years on.

Instead: I'm better now and know I can never make contact again

Anonymous · day 820

I think she is getting this best version of you and that you are both happy. Why am i creating a world in my head that gives you happiness? You both are now miserable and suffering relentlessly - i am the one that is happy. You will NEVER have another moment of me. I will make sure of it.

Instead: Stopped that thought - changed it to a positive

Anonymous · day 80

I can’t unsee you now and that’s what makes you so rageful. I see you. The real you that you masked for 25 years with less and less success. I gave you a whole hearted all in love and you gave me a love I have to recover from. Thank you for the lesson it took me so long to learn.

Instead: Said all that I am grateful for about myself out loud, in the dark, to myself and the universe!

Helene · day 1

17 years and you turn around and say you don't love me anymore. That was all you said and you left. You broke down my walls and I trusted you. Now you have broken my heart and your daughter's. I love you...but my love wasn't enough. I am so angry and hurt. It feels like our whole relationship was a lie. Did you ever even love me?

Instead: Read other people's messages on here

Anonymous · day 150

You broke my heart knowing how much i loved you. You stole years knowing i wanted to be a mother - all whilst knowing you were never going to be with me. You then cheated. She tried to be my friend. You both deserve a hell on earth - 10 fold the pain you inflicted on me.

Instead: I cried

Anonymous · day 80

March 31st of this year was the day we were through. You killed our 30-year marriage with your cruelty in choosing a 28-year-old prostitute over me, not just to cheat with, but to be your new love. It's simply gross that you, a 65-year-old man, would find this acceptable. She's younger than our children! You are vile! This has been the worst 5 months of my life. Today, I celebrated my 64th birthday alone and unhappy. You are a disgusting and disappointing man. The divorce will be final soon, and I'm glad I won't be in your life anymore, but the pain you caused me left deep wounds that I know will take a long time to heal.

Instead: Came here and said what needed to be said about your character and lack of integrity.

Anonymous · day 145

I am still hurt. Some days I hate you. Some days I miss you and just want to hear your voice. You didn’t pick me you picked her. I compare myself to her every day. Why haven’t you even checked on me to make sure I’m ok?

Instead: Sat in my sauna and sent it to you

Anonymous · day 365

I’m so angry that I tried so hard for over three years. Took your abuse and anger. Figured I was a shit communicator, so I learned and tried harder. Kept being accused of being a narcissist. Having my choices and voice made smaller and smaller. I was convinced at the end that I was a terrible person. That I was to blame for all of it. But now I’m even more angry because I see what you were doing. I see the abuse and manipulation for what they were. I see that I became a dumping ground. Someone you felt you owned because we were married, that should serve you both in your household and in your bed. In fact, I was no longer a person to you at all. You proved that quite well when you found other holes to fill. I’m not convinced you ever knew how to love and cherish another human being. I see it now. But thanks to you, I’m starting to see my own worth. And I’ve learned what I will no longer put up with ever again. I hope what you are looking for exists. I hope you find it. And I hope one day you see how much it cost you. Today, on our anniversary, of all days, would be a great day for you to figure it all out.

Instead: Crawled into bed with a good book.

Anonymous · day 112

I want so much to convince you that we deserve another chance but nothing I say is going to convince you of that. I can't convince you to forgive me, I can't convince you to see me differently. I know I wasn't perfect, but I'm committed to making it different. I didn't think I was asking you for too much. Accountability, respect. Why can't you see that we can have a beautiful life together?

Instead: I did send him a text but the shame I felt after sending it stopped me from sending another. I'm proud that I can make a change, even if it takes time for me to learn to stop self abandoning

Anonymous · day 64

Hey. That fucking hurt. And I deserved a kinder ending. FWIW.

KB · day 42

Had I known that was seemingly the last time i would see you I might’ve tried a bit harder but then again I could tell you were pulling away and deep down I lied to myself and thought everything was good. Three years and a two sentence text was all I was worth it seems. Did you ever love me? The silence is maddening.

Instead: Slept.

C · day 206

I still wish I understood why. If you could just have explained we could’ve got through it. How you reacted made me feel I never knew you at all, made me question our whole marriage. How could you have lived with all the lies? I still miss you and I’m devastated how quickly you’ve moved on. I want her to know the truth about what you’re really like but she wouldn’t believe it anyway would she, I didn’t.

Anonymous

I'm so mad. You made me feel so alive after years of not dating anyone. And now that you've discarded me, I feel dead. Why did you do that to me? I was better off before, without you, than I am right now. And you've never apologized or explained anything in depth. And now we're just never going to talk again? Rude

Instead: Nothing yet....I still want to send it 😢

Teri · day 65

I am beyond devastated. I wrote so many letters and deleted them - long letters. I can't even read them and i can't send them knowing you won't care. I'm sending this BECAUSE I know you won't see it.

Instead: Hit the gym.

Georgina

I didn't want to hear this news about you, but I hope you will be satisfied and proud with the house you got from your parents for leaving me, because I wasn't right for your family style. I hope you will be happy being your parents puppet for all their life, or even longer. A part of me wants to go back still, a part has empathy, a part is furious, anxious, sad, and a part wants you to suffer like I did, when you didn't want the conflict, and chose the easy way and run. I want you to remember me every time you open the door of your damn house, the trophy you got, like I was the one that would have been perfect, and no one could be as good partner as me, as you have said up until the last day, and after all, you f'd up in the end. Remember. Cheers.

Instead: I did my usual routine at home, journal and I try to focus on myself more.

Anonymous · day 44

I woke up so angry and scream cried for 30 minutes. I am angry that you live so close, i might run in to one or both of you just doing errands, that you have each other - despite how gross it is, i have no close friends who check on me, that I have never felt like I belong, that every man abandons me after I pour myself out for them. I’m so f-ing angry and sad and hurt

Instead: Scream cried for almost an hour, took a hot bath and met a friend for coffee

Amy · day 166

I just wish we could go back to that night nearly 3 weeks ago. The night that felt like a breakthrough. We were so close. I thought we were going to build something. Instead what followed was you blocking me on social media because I asked for clarity on what time you were arriving the next night and the night after that and you never came. You ghosted me and blocked me instead. Only to start the process again earlier this week which again ended with my messages left on read. I’ve had to let you go and block you instead after texting that I need consistency and not hot and cold punishment and ghosting. You’ll search for me everywhere and I won’t be found. :(

Instead: Cried in bed all weekend.

Anonymous · day 3

Still, everyday, and will always love you.

Anonymous · day 186

You know I loved the bones of you and I don't know who you are anymore, the pain is fading but I don't want forget that feeling of love. I'd have married you, I wish you had not devastated me so much I had to leave. Seeing you like that broke my heart. Mi amor nunca me senti tan amada. Te amo

Instead: Carried on watching a documentary made herbal tea

Anonymous · day 320

Three years and I think about you everyday- I need to let go but it’s been hard- how can you give 24 years of your life to someone and it’s just gone, never dreamed I’d be alone at this point in my life - too late to start over with someone else- sad that I may never find someone that will love me for who I am

Anonymous · day 1095

hope it was worth losing everything we had

Instead: deleted all the photos of us together

Josh · day 7

I don't regret loving you, just regret how it ended

Instead: Made myself a Kir Royale and sat in the garden

R · day 45

I HATE THAT I STILL CARE

Anonymous · day 29

The first night we spent together was genuinely the happiest night of my life (and I keep replaying it and wish I could go back there). But then you intermittently lovebombed and then ghosted me for three months, while telling me "I never ever want to hurt you". I wish you could feel all the pain, terror, longing and love that I felt. But I know you feel almost nothing and you hardly think of me anymore.

Instead: Went to a 12 step meeting.

M · day 90

I will never come back. No matter what. My life is not perfect but I am free. And joyful. The person you used is gone. I have forgiven myself for how much I gave of myself to you. So I don’t need to hear you!re sorry. I don’t need to forgive you. My life is my own now. Good luck.

Anonymous

hey handsome, if you want to fix this, to try again, then you need to work up the courage to reach out and apologize. I've always been the one to tell you after you've left me (again) that it's ok to come back and I didn't this time. I love you, with all my heart, but I can't let you off the hook this time without some accountability from your end that you did this and you're going to actually make an effort to stay instead of running away the moment things feel hard. It's not fair to me. I never have expected that any of what we have should be easy, but if instead of thinking 'what if this doesn't work out?' you need to start asking yourself 'what if it does?'

Anonymous · day 23

Hey, how does it feel to be back in town again? Would you like to go for a walk?

Instead: Wrote it here.. reminded myself that I shall not feed my own hopes. I still really like him and want to spend time but he has told me he does not have romantic feelings and I know just friends is not going to be enough.

Anonymous · day 4

I laughed out loud when I heard about the motorcycle. I'm so relieved that your perennial midlife crisis is someone else's problem now. Stay safe x

Instead: Shared with my friends & laughed some more.

Anonymous · day 800

The most beautiful and awful thing I’ve ever been through. It should have meant more to u you than silence.

Instead: Shopped. A lot.

Anonymous

B, I fell for you. You know this. You reject me. Thank goodness, someone has to stop me. But for now I wish to say: F you for letting me on. F you for making me feel bad about myself. Bodyshaming me while your girlfriend is eleven times my size. Saying allkinds of nasty stuff to my face, about me. Why? Is it to keep me at arm’s length? To keep me small? Because you mean those things? You know I am f*ng gorgeous and smart and the main prize in your cabinet. Why did you keep in contact with me when you knew how I felt and you knew how you felt? Why so cruel? What did I ever do to you? Disturb your peace? You did that all by yourself. You initiated and wanted contact, you never said no. I wrote I carry responsibility for hurting your gf. I mean it, she didn’t deserve this. And I am like that: kind. It was an invitationfor you to also show some sense of responsibility. You didn’t take the bait, of course not. You told me you never did this before, that this was unique and special, that I helped you so much through the toughest period in your life. I don’t believe a word, not anymore. You are a manipulative player. I am convinced there is at least one other woman like me. But most importantly, I betrayed myself to be with you. No boundary left. Why? Because of chaos. You know all about this. How devastated I am after having been cheated on for five years, being gaslighted about it. Through my own sickness and that of my child (apparently pricks are a theme in my life). Even getting the blame. And then my marriage ending ( finally, the relief!) after 28 years. You picked me well. Needing the validation, happy with your minimalist effort. You did not invest in me and I offered myself all to gladly. I am such a fool. You don’t deserve me. I see that now. I hate myself for still missing and wanting you. I wish we never met. You are such a coward. I hate myself and am so embarrased for opening up to you, showing myself, no filter. Live your life, do your thing. I am working hard to erase you from my system ( after I do your buddy, he’s approaching me, did you know?) F you and the high horse you rode in on. I am so much better than this. The best joke is you have to live the rest of your life with you, while I can delete you. It’s so hurtfull now but see, I win in the end, loser.

Instead: Sent myself a text in whatsapp. Smoked a cigarette. Drank wine. Called a gf. Went to the gym.

Anonymous · day 10

Well Danielle. I’m glad I did t propose. Maybe you are too. Have a good life.

Instead: Journal. Can’t recommend this enough.

Anonymous

When did you stop caring about my feelings? When did you decide that I am insignificant, too much, annoying, needy, a PITA? Why do you say you love me when you almost never show it? Is it out of habit? Obligation? Was there one particular moment in time that you stopped caring? I suppose it happened over time, but I wish I knew what started the eventual collapse of your concern for me? I wish I could go back in time and take back or undo what that particular impetus was that set things in motion. I miss being important to you. I miss being able to trust you with my emotions and my hopes and dreams.

Instead: Watched church online

Anonymous · day 1

You’re cruel. It’s so sad because you were so kind at first I wish you well, really I do.

Ella

I just don’t understand how you could say you love me and then drop me without even looking back. I know I said maybe it’s time to stop, but you didn’t even ask what, you just let me go. The whole time you never cared about how I felt and now I’m here stuck without closure because reaching out to you wouldn’t give me closure either. The first thing you did was jump on dating apps and reach out to your ex and tell her you thought she looked gorgeous. You took months to add me on social media but as soon as she has a new account you followed within hours and liked everything. Reading this back just makes me even more sad and mad at myself.

Instead: Typed it out to you

Anonymous · day 30

I miss you. A lot. I met someone new. Not on purpose. I was just out walking and he stopped to say hi. He’s nice and we swapped numbers. That should be a happy thing, but all I can think about is you. I miss your playfulness; I miss that I could be immature with you. I miss your hugs. I miss laying my head on your chest. I miss your sense of humor and you randomly showing up with cheese and mayo for me. I miss you being my best friend. I hope you are doing so well. I hope you are happy, and life is good for you friend. I love you so much. You are still my favorite person.

Instead: Laying in bed. Maintaining no contact and missing my best friend. Wishing our childhoods didn’t leave us with the wounds it did. Going to get up, shower, and start my day.

C · day 29

I miss you. That’s all

Anonymous

Why is it in the night when you can't sleep the clock seems to tick so slowly. Every minute seems like an hour and an hour seems like a day !! I am exaggerated of course when your my age 67 you are allowed to feel like that .Colleagues and friends mean well but when they say your sorry your marriage broke up and you burst into tears .Because you were not expecting to be asked that question and shock at yourself for bursting into tears. Then they say we'll you have been through this before so you know what to expect !! No ! No! ANGRY as I feel he gets off Scott free ! ( I understand that's not the case just feels like that ). Day 4 of No contact

Instead: Listened to music danced round the living room cuddle my cat Zoe

Carol · day 4

Happy birthday!

Instead: Went to work

Anonymous · day 612

Do you realize that you are an extremely avoidant person? That you get an allergic reaction because of intimacy ? Do you know or realize any of this? Why did you text me? Just too see if I’m still available? I wanted to be there for you but it feels impossible. I hope I don’t see you anymore and stop texting me.

Instead: Put my phone down and closed my eyes.

Anonymous

I’m feeling really sad that I never got to celebrate me turning into a nanny with you and showing you my final painting finished 😞💔

Instead: Cried

J · day 177

You said it wasn't just sex, that love is involved. And then you disappeared... Again. Now you say you want to see me... Again. I texted "you are on my mind" two days ago; you took no notice. I know it's complicated, I know we live different lives, in different places but I still need to have open communication, especially because it isn't just sex (and I think you're know it).

Instead: Cried and checked if he texted

C. · day 3

What if I knew you were lying and stayed anyway? Because I was so devoted to you and didn't wnt to let you go. I don't think you'll ever understand. Because I don't think you know what real love is. I feel sorry for you

Instead: Screamed into my pillow then started running

Anonymous · day 90

I just asked for a bit of affection and instead you turned it around on me. You know what I was trying to say but you just closed me down

Instead: Went for a walk

Mary · day 1

You say that I can't take anything you said in anger as true. But some of those things you said over and over. That you didn't regret it, that you'd do it all again, that you feel no remorse. So what is true?! What the fuck is true? You said things went sh*t after you 'withdrew emotional support' for me, like I'm some regency lady in bed needing smelling salts? Maybe things went to sh!t because you were f*ing a much younger woman who was on tap because you'd given her keys to your work flat? Honestly, you really thing that didn't change anything?! That's such nonsense. Get a grip.

Instead: Morning pages.

K · day 250

"Let's stay in touch" weird thing to say to me considering that I am now ghosted, and I am taking your comment "you are very interesting" as "you are incredibly amazing and so secure in who you are that you are too much for me to handle" okay thanks, l probably dodged yet another bullet....off to blockity block you so that you can't come back as l don't need some bulls$&t reply

Anonymous

I feel betrayed. I’m mad at you and disappointed at myself for trusting you and letting you in. I feel lost and vulnerable and confused and sad.

Instead: Went back home to make myself some tea.

Anonymous · day 30

When your mum died, I said that you’ll never get over it - you’ll just learn to carry it. Quite ironic, therefore, that my voyage through post-relationship grief had ‘getting over’ you as a focal point. I’ve come to conclude that I never will. I still love you. I still care about you. I may no longer desire us to be together…but I’ll never not acknowledge what could have been possible with the right amount of work. I’ve passed through phases of desire - from repair, to friendship, to showcasing my evolution, to challenging the false narrative, to fantasising about the random encounter in a few years. To finally accepting the reality of them all. I wish you nothing but good and pray life works out for you.

Instead: Funnily enough, unsent letters like the one I’m composing here were the routes to acceptance.

One who’s healing. · day 200

Thirteen years is a long time, and it’s hard for me to just sit in this coldness without acknowledging it. I want you to know that I still care about you and I miss what we had. I am respecting your decision to end things, I just didn't want my silence to be mistaken for not caring.

Instead: Went for a hike, took the dog for a walk then worked on the car

Rowan · day 90

I’m devastated that you didn’t pick me. You hurt my already broken heart. I knew I shouldn’t have been vulnerable.

Anonymous

You didn't have the courage to tell me the truth. You are a weak little man, too broken to ever be happy or experience love. You used me but God had me there for a reason. Your twin boys needed me to help raise them or you might have damaged them like you were damaged. That's why I was there all those years.

Instead: I built a new beautiful life full of peace and serenity!

Marcia · day 1532

You left. Just left, like that. No text, no note, no courtesy call. NOTHING. Just left me all alone. How do I carry on? Please tell me.

Instead: Sat on the kitchen floor for a while, didn't even cry, just sat there

Marie

Wide awake again Rosie this is becoming a pattern, heads all over the place tonight so bear with me this might turn into a proper long one I keep thinking about the day you left, going over it again and again, and I still don't fully understand how we went from being fine or what I thought was fine to you packing a bag in one weekend, I know I'm probably not great at talking about this stuff, my dad wasn't either, none of the men in my family really are, but I wish I'd said more at the time instead of just going quiet like I always do when things get hard been staying at my mates for a bit cause the house felt too empty on my own, he doesn't ask too many questions which I'm grateful for, just lets me sit there some nights not really saying anything, think he knows I'm not okay even though I keep telling him I am work's been fine, thrown myself into it a bit if I'm honest, easier than sitting still, boss asked if everything's alright at home the other day and I just said yeah sorted which obviously isn't true but I don't really know how to explain any of this to someone at work without it turning into a whole conversation I'm not ready to have I drive past your new place sometimes, not on purpose exactly, it's just on the way to my mums, but I always end up looking at the window as I go past seeing if the lights are on which is a stupid thing to do, I know keep thinking about small stuff too, like you always used to do the shopping list on your phone and send it to me halfway through work, still get this weird urge to text you when I'm running low on stuff, milk, bread, whatever, just out of habit went round my mums for dinner last weekend and she asked how I was doing and I actually properly broke down a bit, which isn't like me at all, don't think I've cried in front of her since I was a kid, she didn't make a big thing of it, just sat with me for a bit, which I needed I think, more than I realised not sure what good writing this actually does, just felt like I needed to say it instead of bottling it up like I usually do

Instead: didn’t send, put telly on and looked for something to watch

Jason · day 18

You’re a pathological liar. You’ll never see it that way, but you are. Not huge lies, but they still count. Broken promises are lies. The narrative you’ve created to justify your infidelity is a lie. Describing this divorce as amicable and telling people we’re just on different paths are both lies. And I should have known from the start when you were lying about taking your dating profiles down. I could have forgiven the infidelity, but I don’t think you would have ever agreed to leave her in the past. I would have moved to wherever, but I don’t think you would have wanted the responsibility that came with that. I would have listened every time you needed to talk - about me, us, work, everything - but you never wanted to have a hard conversation. Lied and said everything was fine. It was your response when I asked how you couldn’t be ready to tell me you wanted a divorce, but were fine to have an affair with your old gf that finally allowed me to see who you are. When you said “well, telling you I wanted a divorce would have been a hard conversation” and didn’t think there was anything wrong with that logic I finally saw the real you. You were never going to be there for me when I needed it. You were always there for you and your image. But it still hurts. I’m still grieving what I thought we would have, even if the person I thought you were doesn’t exist. And that’s one of the harder things to deal with; you are not the person I thought you were if you can treat me like this. If you can call her while I’m asleep in your bed. If you were able to lie to my face so easily when I asked about her. If you chose her over me - repeatedly. If you can’t drum up even enough empathy to check in on me. After 11 fucking years it has come to this. A coward. That’s what you are.

Instead: Watered my plants. Cooked dinner.

Anonymous · day 36

Hey. I wrote you another letter. It’s what I should’ve sent. I take accountability, I should’ve kept showing up, talking to you. I didn’t consider you when I ended things, only saw my feelings and hurt. You didn’t understand what I needed, but you didn’t deserve that. You’ve called me names since then, such ugly mean things. Surprisingly, I don’t hate you. I don’t think I could ever hate you actually. I know the trust is long gone and most likely not repairable. But, if we ever reconnected in the future, I’d try again if you asked. I would. I’ve reread our instagram messages- I see two people who don’t know how to communicate, who are scared to love, who can be so toxic, but could overcome that because we want to make it work. Underneath it all, I see us being good for each other. I can’t explain it and I think that’s ok.

Instead: Took a shot and laughed with my family playing euchre.

Holly · day 278

Hey Jonathan. I thought we had a beautiful connection. I know you felt it too. I wish you’d reach out. Or at least be honest enough to tell me that you just don’t want to continue this anymore.

Instead: Went out to dinner with friends

Anonymous · day 14

You said you want to reconnect and start over. You have no guts to say this is actually over. You want me to say it. You want me to do everything all over again. I fall for your sweet words but you leave me hanging with no actions. As always. 13 yrs of my life. What kind of repair wor is this? You are still SK selfish and only think woth your ego. Ive been gas lit for too long now. I’m not the problem. My reactions were not the problem. Your behavior is everything that was wrong. You just abandoned us without a blink of an eye. And you think you can just come back and he a husband or dad again without making any effort. Who do you think you are.

Anonymous · day 360

Hi David, it’s just gone past midnight, I can't sleep properly, still, even after all this time. I just lie there and my brain won't switch off no matter what I do. I tried counting sheep the other night, actually properly tried it, felt ridiculous doing it at 40 odd but I was that desperate. Didn't work obviously. Sounds so stupid saying it out loud but I miss that cup of tea. You used to make it without me even asking. Feels like such a long time ago now. Someone asked how I was doing today and I just said fine, getting there. It wasn't fine. I was in bed most of the weekend doing nothing. It's almost 1pm some days and I'm still in bed, I don't even have a reason, I just don't get up. My mum still rings most days and half the time I let it go to voicemail because I can't face sounding normal on the phone. I keep wondering if I did something wrong. I go over stuff in my head, arguments we had, little things, that time I snapped at you over nothing before your mums birthday, stuff like that. Probably not helpful thinking about it at 2am but I can't stop. I know logically it's not just down to one thing but logic doesn't help much when it's this late. The bed feels massive without you in it. I used to moan we didn't have enough room, remember that, I actually used to complain. Now I've got loads of room and I hate it. I sleep right in the middle now, don't even mean to, just end up there. I keep leaving the hallway light on now too. Never used to bother. Don't really want to think about why. Found the receipt from that Italian place we used to go to, tucked in an old coat pocket the other day, and I just sat on the floor holding it for a bit like it meant something. It probably doesn't. I kept it anyway. Went to the shop for milk and ended up standing in the aisle for ages just looking at the tea you used to like. Didn't buy it. Bought my usual instead. Felt weird either way. I put the bins out on the wrong day again this week. Still haven't got the hang of it. You always did the bins, I only just realised I still don't actually know which day is which. I still cook enough for two sometimes without thinking, even now. Ended up with loads of leftovers again last night. Just ate it for lunch today instead of throwing it out. I changed the wifi password finally, about a week ago. Took me way longer than it should have. Don't really know why I kept putting it off. I don't hate you. I did for a bit, properly, somewhere around week four I think. Now I mostly just feel sad about it, and tired, exhausted even. I've started going to the gym again this week, my mate dragged me really, I didn't want to go. Felt alright once I was there actually. Anyway. Didn't plan on writing all this, just sort of happened.

Instead: Made myself a cup of tea. Will probably let it go cold

Louise · day 30

Hey Stu I’m really really really hurt by the way you discarded me from your life. You had known how I felt about you but instead of being honest you ignored me and didn’t make your feelings clear. Letting me believe you were interested in building a future together. This is a cruel way to treat someone - anyone. You knew I was going through so much sh*t with my ex yet you still weren’t brave enough to act like a real man and tell me how you really felt. You had to send me a text message telling me you were sorry but you didn’t ever think you could say the 3 words I wanted to hear. Instead you said ‘thank you’ and made light of it. Coward behaviour. Anyway you’ve taught me a valuable lesson - I won’t settle for this in the future. It doesn’t surprise me that you’ve been married twice before - you avoid any discussion about feelings. And to be honest you told me you e never cried about your mum passing away like it was something to be proud of. That is a huge red flag that I overlooked because I wanted it to work. To be honest the last few weeks or our situationship were horrible as I was in such a state of anxiety due to your behaviours not matching your words. You need to work on yourself and become a better person for your own well being . Or not. Anyway - not my problem any more.

Instead: Went for a walk with my dog 😀

Anonymous · day 21

I thought we were heading somewhere good, I thought you liked me. It felt so promising, I was happy to meet a decent, kind handsome guy. And you let me down. I’m so tired of being let down. It was so disappointing and I’m mad at myself that I thought it could be good. I feel stupid and I’m mad that you didn’t give us a chance.

Instead: Worked, hung out with my kids, focused on other things. Felt like sh*t for a bit.

Anonymous · day 15

I keep telling everyone I'm fine about it but I actually think about you more now than I did when we were together, which makes no sense to me at all

Instead: Went to the pub with my closest mates

Matt · day 32

Wish you’d just said goodbye. That would have been better

Anonymous

You didn't need space. You just didn't want to talk to me and couldn't say it properly x

Instead: Made a carbonara (our favourite food)

B · day 20

Dear Peter, Let’s get a few basic facts straight: the hypotethical idea of a four bedroom house I would buy in Skopes to lure you in was a total delusion born entirely inside your own head. I wouldn’t throw away a single cent on a soul-crushingly dull, artificial place like that, let alone invite you into it. ​It’s almost comedic watching you deliver these heroic declarations about "refusing to come over" because I allegedly make you feel miserable. The sheer ego required to turn yourself into the victim here is staggering. The truth is far less dramatic: nobody is making you miserable. You are doing that all by yourself, paralyzed, glued to a sofa, staring at a phone screen, and letting your life pass you by while you drown in your own self-created panic and awful health habits. ​After sitting with your latest outburs9t, I realised something very clear: you didn't decide not to come over. You are simply no longer desired here. ​I have built a quiet, authentic, and genuinely peaceful life, filled with movement, art, and real creative friends who actually show up and live in the real world. I have zero interest in letting your endless personal fog, fragile pride, and cheap drama pollute my space. If playing the tragic, misunderstood martyr in self-imposed exile in pub land is what you need to sell yourself as "happy," then by all means, go enjoy it. ​Don't worry about visiting. My home is for life, art, and real connection—none of which you have to offer. So lets call it a day and enjoy your gated low tier community 63 sq meters by all means.

Instead: Went to sleep

Anonymous · day 50

You knew exactly what you were doing then and you know exactly what you're doing now, reappearing whenever it suits you with an apology that doesn't actually apologise for anything. I don't want an explanation anymore. I just want you to understand you don't get to do this to someone and then act surprised when they're not thrilled to hear from you.

Instead: read it twice, screenshotted it for my bestie and then put my phone on airplane mode for the night

MB · day 115

Why after 8 months of dating did you break up with me via text? I deserve a face to face talk about it so we could both have our say. It was so very cowardly of you. And you sent it at 5:40 am, knowing I’d be asleep. How thoughtful of you. And after rereading your text, I realized you used AI to write it. Was I that unimportant that you couldn’t even find your own words? Or are you really just that useless? You took those 8 wonderful months and soured it all for me. Was this who you were all along? Just pretending to be the nice guy? We could have had a nice talk to finish things in person and leave on good terms. Now I just regret the time I wasted on you. I deserved better.

Instead: Did a session of yoga, showered and read a book.

PK · day 4

“Deleted your number by accident" and I'm just supposed to believe that. You don't get to vanish for months and then act like you did me a favour by remembering I exist.

Instead: Took the dog for a long walk

T · day 45

How dare you. How dare you message me after nearly two months since I finally walked away and while I'm trying to rebuild my life after how vile you were to me. How dare you act like you don't know what you did and that you love me but it's the right person wrong time!! If you loved me you wouldn't have been abusive, you wouldn't have drank yourself into oblivion and blamed me each and every time! I tried to support you in all the dark times you had and you were horrid, abusive and assassinated my character only to come back and feed me lies of apologies, hope for the future and that you would and we're changing. It was all lies and you knew it each time but wanted to keep me. You almost got me there, I almost replied out of sheer anger, but I know you and how you try to reach for me. Nice try. This hurts, but it won't hurt as much as staying with you and your demons. Get yourself into therapy so nobody ever has to experience the abuse and hurt you inflicted on me.

Instead: I took a lot of deep breaths, told myself well done for seeing the pattern and not falling into it. I messaged a friend and walked my beloved dog and journaled later on.

J · day 40

I'll get over you - and that makes me sad tbh

Anonymous

How dare you try to come back. You don't get to do that. You know you hurt me, you know exactly what you did. And yet you sent me a message after three months saying "Hello beautiful how are you? Xx" then "Deepest apologies. I've been absent for a while xx." You don't deserve a response. Just get out of my life. I don't want you anymore.

Rachel · day 95

You can run from me, but you can't run from who you are when the lights go out. So sleep well.

Instead: I wrote a letter to you, burned it and put it in the sea. I told the trees what you did to me. I give it to them instead of cursing you.

Amy · day 130

So, was I the one you were cheating on or were you cheating on some else with me? Because I’m not stupid. You think I am just another person you can get from and then leave. God knows everything you did- or was your faith a lie just like the rest of you?

Anonymous

What if you'd just made an effort - imagine that - I have so many pages i want to write, so much to say, but you make it feel so wasted. I don't think you'll ever face it. It's just so sad you can't be real and own this. We had something good. You burned it down. I'm so tired from trying to fix it.

Instead: Went out with your best friend for 4 weeks.

Anna · day 4000

Im confused, you treated me si badly yet I feel safe with you. Why?

Instead: I watched you from afar

Anonymous · day 365

I'm struggling every day to not run to you. I'm trying so hard to let go. You telling me you're not going anywhere and it will all be okay had created more anxiety. I believed what you told me. I thought we were working on getting it together. The nights we spent together were just like when we first started dating. 3 months felt like our relationship should be & gave me hope. I still believe you're my soulmate. My person. I still hope and wait for you. You're the first thing I think about in the morning & last before I sleep. Your spot is open. Hope I see you soon. I love you blue eyes! And know you still love me!

Instead: Scrolling and cleaned out my car.

Anonymous · day 4

I haven't eaten in three days. I haven't slept more than a few hours each night. 7 years together and suddenly you're dating someone? You let me find out from a friend? You are sorry you "upset" me? I am so torn between hating you and hating myself for getting so attached to begin with. And now I'm here alone, trying my best not to completely lose myself in grief. Trying to smile at work instead of crying. The worst part is that I still have to see you every day. No one truly understands how sick to my stomach I am at all times because I simply don't know what to do now.

Instead: Opened up to my sister about everything that happened. Cried. A lot. Tried a new routine.

Anonymous · day 4

I think I’m probably blocked on what’s app and even if not I couldn’t face another ignored message. I don’t think you use this much so hopefully you won’t see this message for a while. It was horrid but also nice to see you Thurs. I know you can’t stand me and I understand why. #fuckingpest! I know what we had wasn’t anything, just a dumb emotionally damaging mess. It could never have been more and Anything else, well that was all a fantasy I built up in my head. I really don’t know how it will be September. I felt sick when I saw you but I think that’s prob just embarrassment, shame and hurt. We obviously can’t be friends, it never ends well and to be honest Im very close to hating you which is for the best. Enjoy you last bit of holiday xx

Instead: Went to bed

Kate · day 21

Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself. And happy. (Not really)After 9 years you just discarded me like trash when I really needed you. And then to find out you were in an emotional affair with someone you supposedly thought was “crazy”. You had your mental breakdown because of it and she ruined your life. So then you thought you could just come back and we’d continue where ‘d left off like nothing happened. You left me when my mom had a stroke. You kept in contact with me only when you needed supply, no matter that it compounded my pain over and over again. You keep coming back and checking to see if I’m “over your betrayal” yet, but I can never trust you again. I have to forgive myself for ever even having hope with you after you left me because of and for her. I could never say this to you because you’re not man enough to take it. I am still not over you, which sounds ludicrous, seeing how many times you’ve ghosted me when I didn’t immediately slip back into my old role and just act like all is well because you’re “over it”. You have to convince yourself you’re a good man, and I used to think you were, deep down, just broken. But a good man would never treat someone who truly loved him like you treated me. I’m ashamed of myself. And I know you have toxic shame because I’ve seen it. We could’ve healed together, albeit slowly and painfully. But I see that you’re not strong or courageous enough to do it. You’d rather hide and suppress, therefore fooling yourself and dooming yourself to a life of repeating the same old mistakes and reliving the same old pain again and again. I am struggling, but I will not repeat this same pattern ever again with you. I’m finally not abandoning myself, even though I stupidly feel like I’m abandoning you. It both hurts me and helps me to feel that you never worried about abandoning me.

Instead: Cleaned my house that you will never be a part of.

Anonymous · day 1085

Älskar dig så mycket. Saknar dig ❤️

Anonymous

How I wish you would have chosen me, chosen us. I gave you the better part of six years. I encouraged you. I was there for you. I supported you. I tried to make you see the good in you and everything you have to offer and in the end you chose a lonely and frustrating road. I know you’ll reach out again when you feel lonely perhaps when another relationship doesn’t work out. Like you have for the 30 years that I’ve known you. But this time is different. I loved what we had the connection, the adventures, how we liked the very same things. You showed me how wonderful it is to be outside and enjoy the sunlight while on our bicycles or a road trip to places I’ve never seen, I learned so much from you when you gave me so much and I would have loved to have grown old with you, but I can’t keep doing this back-and-forth only to have you ghost me when we get too close again. So this time I’m saying no. I’ve blocked you so that you cannot reach me and and start this loop all over again. I choose peace and self-respect and I release what keeps me looping. I’ll always love you. I’ll always appreciate all the things that I experienced with you, but you didn’t choose me however I choose me!

Instead: Blocked him and focused on myself. It’s been difficult, but it is getting easier.

Ms. G · day 34

Maybe it wouldn’t have helped . But why couldn’t you have just said goodbye . Why be so, so cruel. Why be so selfish . Why leave me feeling like I was erased . The worst part is not that it’s taking so long to get past you , it’s that I’m afraid I’ll never trust anyone again to actually value me enough to communicate, to take a bit of discomfort because it’s the right thing to do for the person you had claimed to love . There’s no coming back from this for you so why do I still hope you won’t forget me anyway .

Instead: Cried in the shower. Then planned an outing for the day to feed my soul .

Anonymous · day 70

James, I really liked you and I thought you liked me too. You were the light in my lonely, dark world. I wish things could have been different.

M

I'm going to membership appreciation day at the botanical gardens! Wanna come?

Instead: Texted a friend instead and had a great time!

Rhonda · day 75

I miss you. I know we can fix this, if we work on it together. There's nothing really wrong here; two people who love each other but show it in different ways. You told me less than a week ago that you've been fighting for us, and I asked you to keep fighting. So keep fighting. Choose us. You'll never regret it, I promise.

Instead: Watches Ted Lasso

Anonymous · day 1

There's nothing I can say as I know you've probably moved on. I will always remember the times we had but it's time for me to say goodbye

Instead: I excepted it for what it was

Debbie B · day 362

You are not safe for me, i dont know who you are. I wanted you to be my person so much, but in no universe would my person treated me like you did, i will never understand why you behaved like that, and i am so glad i dont understand or i cant comprehend, becuase we are nothing alike.

Instead: Texted my mum

Natalie · day 126

So how is your cat doing?

A · day 5

Why cant you just tell me the truth?

Anonymous

You know what, I have wasted 8 years of my life on your nonsense. You did all the nice man things, said nice things. Said that having been neglected and used for spare parts in my marriage, that was all done and over that there was nothing that you couldn’t fix in my life. Then came the little things, the ‘oh sorry, I fell asleep’ when we were due to go out - I went out anyway, BTW, because I don’t wait about for anyone when I have theatre or cinema tickets. Then, after 2 years it was ‘are we in a relationship? I thought we were just friends’. I don’t sleep with my friends. Then there was your occasional silent treatment. My parents were legendary at that game, I mainly didn’t notice when you did it. Then you kicked my dog. My elderly dog, 12 years old, because he peed in your garden. Then had a go at me because I wasn’t fast enough to get a lead on him and get him out of the front door and down the street. I cleaned the outside of your bloody wheeley bin, but in that moment, I was done. What have you done since, you have called, texted, come round. I am at the point that I ready to move away from my nice home, my fabulous garden, my nice community, and the nice village I live in just to be rid of you. I know what this has been in my head, It’s nervous conditioning, emotional addiction, breaking the pattern has been hard for me. If I block you you come round and make a scene, if I don’t block you, you text and I just have you on mute so will delete without reading. After answering your call, that you made from a different phone when I am job hunting, I stand by every word I said. You are a staggering waste of carbon and no, I don’t mean that you are a lump of coal, you absolute dolt. I need you to get your parent’s furniture out of my garage, it’s taking space in my life where something fun could go. I have had your blissful ‘silent treatment’ for 74 hours and I am loving it. Long may it last. As I told you, stop texting, stop calling, do not call around unless it’s with a van to get your furniture. As for the ‘you are not neurodivergent’ comment. You sit at a desk and catalogue supplies using Excel (that I taught you to use), you are not an ADHD/Autism assessor, nor a qualified psychologist. You are a paper pusher who has more of a relationship with his single scull than you do with any human. Now go away and leave me alone. I am 62, you don’t get to waste any more of my time, so There We Are Then.

Instead: Walked my dogs - all 4 of them! Now off to read my book and drink some celebratory non-alcoholic G&T.

Florence · day 3

I miss you.

Instead: Washed my face with cold water ...

Anonymous · day 31

I can’t help but keep thinking about you lovely. I miss you so much. I miss us. I miss how happy I felt being able to give all my love to you. I often dream of the day you come back! I miss hearing about your day, and getting to face the world with you by my side x

Anonymous

I dont even like you. You were an abusive loser. Why cant I stop thinking about the few good things about "us." I think I'm just lonley.

Instead: Took a shower

Anonymous

Why don't you want me? What did i do wrong?

Instead: Cried

Anonymous · day 122

What happened inside you? Why did you do this to me? I will never understand it. Why? I don't care if it's called narcissism or abuse. Why? Just tell me why Only god can forgive you i can't i need to forgive myself for trusting for forgiving you so many times.why my god why

Anonymous

I love you. I hate you. I hate that I still love you. I can't handle how many emotions I'm carrying about you, and not knowing which one is stronger each minute. Yet somehow, even in the distance between us now (the distance you created months ago without even explaining or properly breaking up) (and I didn't repair for once), I still end up carrying your emotional immaturity, ambiguity, uncertainty. Not even a "Happy Birthday" after I gave you everything you "wanted". Yet your silence continues to scar me. Your wounds leaked over me across years together, and you taught me to be smaller, to need less. And so now you have the distance you wanted, the money you wanted, the lack of accountability you wanted, and another injured soul far away. I'm trying so hard to heal these patterns out of me. To stop wanting you. To stop being small. To stop moving from loneliness. My heart will never be the same.

Instead: Gratitude journal.

Anonymous · day 11

I am still grieving the marriage we had and the future we planned. I don’t think I can get past how easily your head turned, how easily you soaked up the love bombing. I have taken time to understand myself and know I will never self abandon again. So absorb the reality of your selfish actions, feel the weight of the consequences and know that I now know I deserve to be loved fully, completely and without compromise. I choose me. Leave me alone now.

Instead: Spent time watching the sea and listing what I am grateful for.

Z · day 400

You do realize that all these days I was not ok? Of course I was lying. I just didn’t want to bother you. Well heck I really did want to bother you but I was afraid of the consequences. I was afraid that you will reject me again. Right now I’m at least in a friend zone with a chance of having occasional casual fun. And now I’m thinking- it costs me my health. First week - panic attacks, second week - not wanting to live. That’s not funny anymore what I’m doing to myself. I really want you to know everything I’m going through. But you told me that you can’t handle knowing it. I really want to be angry at you and I can’t. Because I understand your trauma. I give you excuses. I’m an empath after all. I just wish we could talk more. About you too. About what you’re feeling and going through. I wish you could trust me more to open up. I’m so frustrated that I can’t demand anything from you. Can’t expect love and understanding. It would be much easier if you didn’t behave like you love me when we have a few hours together every once in a while. It’s so confusing to my brain and my nervous system. Going from 100% to 0% in a few hours. Like how is it even possible to have these polar opposites in one person? Anyways. I feel like I’m pressuring you again. I’ll stop.

Anonymous · day 4

Do you even think about me ? You don’t even message to check in

Instead: Wrote the message here, laughed at my self and continued with my report for work

Tan · day 1

Will you never check up on me again? What about all the promises you made to me? Why do they mean nothing? You didn’t even allow me the space to be angry with you. Now I’m feeling alone and scared and you’re just moving on with your comfortable life in your prestigious position

Anonymous · day 2

I’m sorry I just could not take the silence and non communication anymore. I never intended to leave that day but you never ever want to talk and just say I always start arguments and all I ever want to do is talk. You managed to give me one day this year and you couldn’t even be engaged, it started with the why don’t you come out to me and see about what you where was asking, I was in the bathroom you were outside. That was not fair. You manage to make it about me doing the wrong thing, quite often and then when I stand up for my self you have regularly said why so you always argue, why can’t you just do as you are told. You spent the whole walk to Jenvies texting and on the phone to others. It was just more of the same of other sad. Lonely. Disengaged days. You cycle, works “though not too much since back from Europe” I really did think you where seeing someone else and when I asked about it for payroll was basically told it’s my business and just do it. I could not even approach you about this and then you would plonk yourself in front of the Tv and if I tried to make conversation I was told not now I’m watching TV. You have left me in my own to deal with every aspect of our life children Bookkeeping Cooking, cleaning children Mowing Gardening House Maintenace. When you said you would do or organise something you did nothing. You never shared the load but expected me to do it all and smile. I’m broken. I felt very unloved as I am sure you did too. It is not fair in either of us. I am not sure you remember what you did to me at the end of 2024 in the bedroom after dart night, but I was rather traumatised and when I approached the subject in 2025 you remarked that you did nothing wrong. Well you did. It was a rough few months for me and I took it out on everybody. You saying you did nothing wrong which made me put it in that special box and try and move on. I thought the Europe trip would reconnect us but it didn’t. Just made me realise you just avoid every conversation that makes you slightly uncomfortable and you parent to the outside work all is good. I’m sorry I never could make you happy but you absence was to much to take and our life was a lonely place for me hence I threw myself into work in my mind I was saving again for our future trip, even though we would just about come back broke. You told everyone else what “we” were doing you never ever talked with me. I always just sadly went along with doing what I am told and try not to argue as the eggshells were too much. I am so heart broken it is pretty unbearable but I made the right decision to walk away.

Instead: Put it into notes, and grey rocked the reply

TF · day 180

I love you but I don't know if I can be with you. It's so hard. It's so hard to love someone this much and watch them prioritize someone else, even if it's the right thing to do. But I'm so afraid to be alone, overwhelmed by life and by having no one. I hate you. And I love you.

Instead: Cried.

Anonymous

I really thought I’d hit the jackpot this time. I really thought you were perfect . Right up until the moment you chose her instead of me. How can I still want you when I haven’t been chosen? Where is the logic in that? I know I keep thinking what did I do wrong, why was I not good enough? I know you won’t answer and I know you don’t care. I hope I get over you quicker than the last one.

Instead: Made some food, cried

Anonymous · day 7

I love you but you just won’t let me in, you never talk to me and only ever want to see me on your terms. If you want me you need to say because staying silent is pushing me away

Instead: Lay down

Anonymous · day 1

I still miss u, I think about u all the time and I look for u all the time. I know u don't deserve it and I shouldn't let u live in my head but I actually, genuinely loved u. You ended the relationship so coldly and didn't even give me a 2nd thought and then moved on within days, the bed wasn't even cold!!! Why??? That's all I can ask is why? Why??? I will never understand how u say u love someone one day then leave and start with someone else. U are not a good man, u are a liar and a cheat, I didn't deserve the way u treated me after all the support I gave u with yout child. U are a selfish, self centred, waste of skin and I can't believe I gave u 3.5yrs of my life. Goodbye!!!!!

Instead: Loaded the dishwasher

Anonymous · day 198

I've been wanting to tell you for a while that I know. I did the research and educated myself! I had no clue what was going on when I left, as I had said I would, when you crossed that final boundary. I don't know how I managed not to cave and accept your usual pathetic excuses, but I didn't. I now know you were playing me from the start. The painting you did in Uni that hung in our living room. The one that showed you without a mask at a masquerade ball, I now know it was because your unmasked face was the mask! You must have felt so clever hiding in plain sight, but I get it! I accept you were using me, for my friends, resources, lifestyle. You are a disgusting human being and not capable of change, whereas I am happy to be growing into the person I always should have had the confidence to be. But I miss my life with you, the cottage, my chickens, my friends there, I don't know that I will ever stop missing them, and you. I miss the you I married, it could have been, it should have been wonderful, we could have accomplished the lifestyle you future faked and that became my dream too. Understanding why and what you did helps me to stay strong, but it doesn't ever take away the hurt and pain. I will never ever give you the satisfaction of knowing that I still love you, and think about you most days. And that if you caught me when I was vulnerable I might just hug and kiss you again. Pathetic isn't it, but you know what I learned, I know I what love is, and I as sure as heck know what it's not. I'd rather be alone and live with this pain than live your sad existence. You tried to extinguish me, but I'm stronger than you! Enjoy the rest of your life, I am.

Instead: Read my journal and remember how bad it really was.

Anonymous · day 1642

That night meant a lot to me. I would have loved to see you again. Or at least texted.

Instead: Went for a walk

Anonymous · day 20

Simon, I’ve asked you to leave me alone. I said I wasn’t going g to pick up where you left it. I didn’t want to block you but now I have so next time you send me a ‘hey’ at 10pm not only I won’t see it but hopefully you see you are blocked and really leave me alone. You are and were so wrong for me.

Instead: Blocked hi

Anonymous · day 21

You message me and tell me you’re going to end things with her so I don’t feel replaced. But I was replaced. You chose her over me. You can’t undo that. Why tell me now??? You broke my heart after 16 years. I’m allowed to feel hurt and telling me that now doesn’t change that.

Instead: Watched a movie and cried

Anonymous · day 39

Did you ever really love me Mike? Or did you just love how I helped you with getting your lawyer bills and back child support paid to your baby mama?Did you like all the classic cars I bought you and the 2 businesses I bought into to try to make you happy? Did you love me when I paid the bills when you took jobs that weren't paying the bills? Did you feel for a minute, how I might feel about spending the profit of my life's work? I was always there to keep us from going bankrupt. I paid those bills because I didn't want to go bankrupt and dragged under with you. I went to therapy to vent about you and your 4 generations of a mentally unstable family, that I thought I could help. Do you know how hard it is to be empathetic to an entire family that I married into, where everyone is either an enabler or a narcissist, or dismissive avoidant? You and all of your family should come with a warning label. I poured out my love, heart and money into you and I look back and see less than the bare minimum given back. Mike, you took sides against me. You gave up on me. You broke my heart. I'm writing this 3 years after our separation and I'm still trying to get over why I still have feelings for you. I should hate you. But I don't. We were together a long time. 20 years of marriage. I didn't say I do, to say I don't. But this is where we are. I'm 62 now and I'll spend the rest of my life on my own terms, because, I can never make that kind of sacrifice again. It was the most exhausting and anxiety provoking experience of my life. So, you will never read this. And what would be the point? I should have understood when you said "I use you, you use me." Those were probably the most honest words you ever said to me. It shocked the hell out of me when you said it. Was that all our marriage was to you? If I could get this through your thick skull so you could understand, but you will never get it. I still ask myself everyday, how I still have feeling for you. I don't fully understand that yet. They say it's my nervous system. I'm not going to contact you, look for you or call you. I suppose we will just live in each other's minds, with completely different recollections of our life together.

Karen · day 1202

I can't stop thinking about you. I replay every moment and even when I'm with someone else, I imagine what you would have said or did and I laugh and smile because you would have made me laugh if you were still with me. No one wants to get to know me. I cycle through dates but I can't find anyone who makes me smile like you did. I am okay for a few weeks, then I drive by your house again, or I message you. But you ignore me or tell me to leave you alone. I know you aren't good for me....I KNOW IT....but I can't get you out of my heart.

Instead: colored my hair

Anonymous · day 270

You chased and begged me to give you a chance, and ive never béen so disrespected in my life. It was wrong to make someone fall in love so cruelly. You never chose me, you chose your ex, you chose gambling,you chose drink and you chose drugs but never me. You took my love for clout, u liked how i made you look and feel, you used me. You went ba k to what you ran away from as it was easier to do than to say sorry.....and mean it. Im not jelous, im so disappointed in you. That was the most brutal 4 months of my life.....and the worst part was, we were friends first

Instead: Got off the sofa, ran a bath and put some comforting tv show, was like a warm hug.

Nathan · day 130

I wish you wanted the family unit. We are grandparents but you are not in the picture. Why didn’t you want to repair ?

Instead: Sat outside

Anonymous

Users Amassing millions, billions, trying for trillions Amassing Finding advantageous opportunities A failing company A failing heart An estate sale of grand proportions Amassing Using, extracting, moving on. Calling it progress Calling it business Calling it love. Entrepreneurs of business Entrepreneurs of hearts Users

Instead: Let it sit in notes.

Esther · day 400

I want you back so badly. I can’t function, I can’t eat. I wake up every day with this gut wrenching feeling that things will never be the same again

Instead: Cried

Anonymous · day 28

I saw all the red flags, but I still wanted you, because you made me feel something I haven't felt in a long time. You said that I mentally and physically excite you, that you wished I was there when you were going to bed. You said we must meet, four times. I agreed each time. Yet you didn't pick a date so I said let's stop texting until you got a date, which took you 2 weeks to come up with. Yet when it came to arranging a time and location, you disappeared for a full day. You can't have been that excited about me. When I said let's not meet, you were surprised. You said fate will sort it out and we will meet eventually. I would like to see your actions, rather than fate, to make a date happen. You said we could have a wonderful relationship, no matter what form. You didn't tell me that you have a long-term partner with whom you are living, I found out on social media a few days after I called off our date because I had that gut feeling. So how exactly is that relationship going to work? I told you that I don't want to get hurt and you said you don't want to get hurt either. I feel deceived, played with and hurt. You keep liking my social media posts, just like the posts of hundreds of other much younger women/models. What's the point of that? You don't want me. You have a woman at home. You present yourself as the moral, good guy on social media. What about the hurt you caused to me and your woman? Who doesn't know about your online behaviour. You don't know that I know. It takes me all my strength not to text you. I know I shouldn't but I miss how you made me feel. Before I discovered that all of that was a lie. And that in fact I wasn't special to you.

Instead: Cried

I feel stupid · day 209

I didn't realize you were capable of the level of cruelty you showed me at the end. Our reunion of sorts I guess you would call it. After 2 years of being apart, you said oh I love you I missed you, kissed me on the lips. We were making plans to go to the amusement park and go out to eat. You are naked in your bathroom with me. But a few short weeks later, you had your meltdown. Poor me nothing works out for me, my kids won't help me. Then I sent you the text messages about Manning up and facing yourself. The 12 years of being stuck at a job you hate, refusing to clean out your horde, being jealous of everyone else even though you have plenty of money to fix all of it. You thanked me and then when I asked you not to date my friends you refused and said you were going to help her again with her clinic. I then said do whatever you want I wish you the best but I'm not having this rubbed in my face. And you never responded. It's been 3 weeks. How could you have such a little integrity to reel me in and then stop me to the ground? But all those years you showed me how I wasn't your choice I was just an option so why was I so devastated by this final blow? I just hope there comes a Day in the near future when I can truthfully feel in my heart thank you for staying out of my life once and for all.

Instead: I keep giving it to God because I've tried all these years and it never worked. Nothing works with you.

M · day 22

I don't know why you keep contacting me Jennifer. I want to tell you you really hurt my feelings by dating my ex. Why did you even reach out to me and ask about it if you were going to disregard my feelings? I guess you never heard about the girl code, it's one where you don't date your friends exes. And I asked him specifically not to date you either and of course he didn't care. What a great basis for your new relationship. You really don't need to reach out to me anymore, as I know you aren't a friend.

Instead: I put it in God's hands because I'm not getting in the middle of this. Unless she specifically asks me why did you unfriend me. Then I will give her the text.

M · day 22

Hey , I know it’s been a while … And I’m not contacting you to cause any trouble .. I know it’s over. I understand that you don’t love me, and that we aren’t going to be together… But I guess I just need to say my piece… —————————————————— I Really Did Love You Omar.. And while there were issues that we both needed to work on, I was still willing to try as many times as it took for us to finally get it right…. Because I thought it was worth it … Because I wanted Us that much… And the fact that you spent almost 4 years coming in and out of my life …. Always giving me hope and then snatching it away…. The ghosting , The silent treatment, The total disregard for my feelings…. Telling me that you wanted to try to build something real, just to turn around and discard me again, like I was nothing …. after I took the chance to trust you even after everything you put me through… That was a real slap in face … Maybe you don’t realize it.. Or Maybe You Don’t Care… But You Really Hurt Me Omar Because despite our issues, I never lead you on, I never lied to you … And I was never reckless or cavalier with your feelings…So I just can’t understand how you could be so careless with mine … You Broke My Heart Omar.

Instead: Sat quietly hoping for some kind of feeling of relief or confirmation that not sending it to him was the right move. That feeling didn’t come , so I went and washed my hair . I’m still waiting , but I guess it’s just gonna take some time …

Anonymous · day 225

I thought of you tonight watching the skies...and i hoped that you were somewhere and that you are good and happy..still miss you tho dammit....I blame the eclipse!✨

Instead: Hmm..cried!

Mez · day 7

Were you just lying the whole time? Am I just the idiot who fell for them? I know it doesn’t matter and this is what’s best. I deserve more. It still hurts that your words never matched your actions, and that I had to find the strength to leave because you would never fully let me go.

Instead: Called my sister.

Anonymous · day 51

Are you an avoidant? I think I was anxiously attached to you. I was devastated but I’m slowly getting better since you discarded me. It’s ups and downs. You are still constantly in my mind day and night. I recently learned about limerence and think you trigger this in me. I have the whisky I bought you. I’m waiting for the cold nights to come so I can drink it at a bonfire with a friend. I think I’ll take a photo of it and send it to you thanking you for the recommendation 😂 I’m dating again. There’s still hope for me. I appreciated our time together even if it made me become unhinged when you ended it 😳 I learned things. Hope you’re ok. I don’t think you are a bad person. I miss talking to you.

Instead: I’m at work on my break.

TT · day 32

rough night last night, everything just feels off without you here

Rick · day 3

Why did you have to leave me x

Instead: Made myself a coffee

Monica · day 10

I don't know who I am without you

Michelle · day 276

you were supposed to be the one

Anonymous