All of them

typing it here so i don't type it to you. I miss you but I never want to see you again - that's pretty messed up. see what you did to me

Instead: went out with the girls

lana · day 300

I’ve never really though of myself as adhd or on the spectrum but I work with children who have it I believe my daughters have it sorry my brain has just gone off on a tangent again. I thought I was who I am because of circumstance not because my brain worked differently. I know I’ve always thought differently to my family, friends but just put it down to being odd or a freak of nature. I’ve spent years being unkind to myself and looking for someone just to accept me for who I was. 34 when I married thought he was the one because he said the things I couldn’t say to myself. Now 20 years later I’m lonely, my kids are flying the nest and the compliments stopped a long time ago and the negative ones appeared. I now see him for who he is and I want more. But I want more from myself. I want the kindest from myself. I want the compassion for myself.

Instead: Cried

C · day 16

Charlie. You seem to have a perfect life so why did you invade mine, make me love you even more than I did in 1971, and then throw me away to go back to your perfect life? How were you able to hold me and look in my eyes claiming to love me knowing you were hurting me in the end? You broke me in half. I should hate you. But I don't and I would run into your arms if you ever came back. It's 3am and I can't sleep missing you. Why did you do this to me? You're the one person I thought would never hurt me. I could never hurt you.

Instead: Cried convincing myself he would hate it if I bothered him. He went from telling me I meant everything to him to insisting I forget him.

Martie · day 360

i feel like I can't breathe without you - i miss the little things

Anonymous

Almost 20 years my friend and I are living together. Though for a few years ago I did not want him in my bed anymore. He accepts it.. He is younger than me. Several times I told him my retirement is coming. And that I shouldn't wait "for only his holidays" to do whatever I want to do in my life I have left... No reaction from his side apart from hmmm ok... So after 4 weeks holidays "at home" I went to my 2nd home and I stayed there for 3 weeks. Because he -also there- can work at home, he was working in my 2nd home, and suddenly he came into the room I am sitting, crying.... stating that he will have to go home on his own as he (always) has to go to the office for 1 day in a week..... Since than he is never calm, does lots of things together in steeds of (normally) dingen one thing at the time.... This is now going on since the start of July... he does not decide anything.... not what we should eat, nor where to go to.... I gave him the advice to go and talk to his GP, but he doesn't want that. He claims me.... and I don't know how to escape from it.... It makes me kind of unstable too... He is having his own holidays richt now and we are going to my 2nd home..... tomorrow... He makes me almost feeling guilty for not having to work anymore....

Anonymous

I’ll never see you again and I can’t believe it

Anonymous

Why don’t you even think about me? Why’s it so easy to forget me!??

Instead: Moaned at friends

Anonymous

I cry every day about you. I don’t even want you. It’s like you put a hex on me

Instead: Screamed mostly

Anonymous

So angry I gave you my heart body and soul and for what ? Many friends and family could never understand why I married you and why we were together they do say that opposites attract you were dark and dangerous I liked that the red flags I didn't see or chose to ignore my mother in law said I was the first person she knew that stood up to you .We were like clash of the Titans I was 27 when I met you.You were 36 if you said you can't do that I said watch me I didn't like being told what to do you couldn't box me into a corner !!

Instead: Went for a walk listened to some of my favourite music walked in the woods cried to the trees they new understood Nature is so wonderful

CAROL · day 7

I haven’t slept well since with you I miss you at night.

Anonymous

I love you Carl. I've loved you for two years. I've loved the times we've spent together and everything we've shared about our lives in between. I truly thought we were slowly building something that we both said we wanted. My heart still wants you..that might not change. I just want to hold you, really I do. I've spent months being patient with your work schedule, reasured you when you questioned my love for you, patiently tried to find time we could see each other. I meant every word. I hate not speaking to you. I'm so incredibly sad it has ended this way xx

Instead: Put it in my notes and cried. Lots.

Anonymous

I don't even know why I'm writing this, I know I'm not gonna send it, I just need to get it out somehow because it's doing my head in. I've been sat here for the last hour just staring at your name, Ryan, started this about six times and deleted it every time cause it kept coming out wrong, too angry, then too sad, then sounding like I still want you back which I don't, I don't think, I don't actually know anymore if I'm honest. I keep going over everything trying to work out when it started, I can't pin down when you switched off, I really can't, was it the weekend in St. Ives, was it before that, even our anniversary I keep coming back to, you booked my favourite restaurant, ordered that champagne we liked, you even said you were lucky to have me, and now I don't even know if that was real or if you were already somewhere else in your head by then, that's actually the bit that gets me more than the cheating itself, not knowing how much of any of it was even true, I keep asking myself that and I don't have an answer. I think about who I was before I found out and I feel stupid for her honestly, she was so happy, she told everyone how good things were, she actually got defensive when someone made a joke about you always working late, properly stuck up for you, imagine that, she had no clue, none, I don't really know how to be her again, I don't even know if I want to, I'm just so tired of carrying this now, tired in a way sleep doesn't fix. some days I'm just angry, properly angry, the kind where I want to throw something, why did you do this to me Ryan, why, how could you do that and still let me plan things around you, still let me talk about the future like there even was one, other days I just feel pathetic, like how did I not see it, what does that even say about me that I trusted you that much, and then other days I just miss you, plain and simple, no anger in it at all, just missing the person I actually thought you were. I miss you and I hate you, sometimes in the same five minutes, which makes no sense but that's genuinely how it feels, a song comes on and I miss you, then I remember and I want to scream, I catch myself cooking enough for two still and it wrecks me every single time, every single time, you'd think I'd have stopped doing that by now. I think I'm doing okay and then something stupid sets it off, your car, a name that sounds a bit like yours, someone's laugh in a shop that sounds like yours for half a second, and I just have to stand there for a bit before I can carry on with whatever I was doing. I'm not sure what I wanted from writing this, Ryan, I think I just needed to say it to you properly. even if you never actually see it, even if it makes no difference at all.

K

sad times

Instead: nothing

Anonymous

I'm just sad - I miss you

Anonymous · day 670

I keep asking myself if any of it was even real with you or if I was just there until something better came along

Steph · day 7

Why is it that you get to start again and I'm still here picking up the pieces?

Instead: parked opposite the house he's moved into and sat there for 10 minutes before I could bring myself to drive away

Diane · day 34

Can't believe you ruined something good

Instead: Cleaned my flat

Jane · day 24

Everyone keeps telling me I'm better off without you and I know they're right, I do, but it doesn't stop me being angry about it. You had someone who genuinely loved you, properly, unconditionally, and you f***ing wasted it, for what, so you could go be someone else's problem instead. I hope you think about that every single time it goes wrong again

Naomi · day 50

I can't believe I defended you to everyone, I feel like such an idiot

Instead: Went through old messages looking for the moment I should've seen it coming

Nat · day 45

Do you miss me as much as I miss you?

Instead: Had a nap

S · day 1

I just want to know if you still think about me?

Instead: Went for my hot girl walk

Trish · day 20

Why did you have to come back? I was doing so well and then you sent that message. Now I want you again. I HATE this x

Deb · day 33

I hate that I still check if you've been active

Instead: Had a video call with my niece

Melissa · day 29

It's your birthday tomorrow. I had the whole day planned, down to what we'd have for breakfast. One of your presents is still sitting on the table, wrapped, because I don't know what else to do with it.

Lisa · day 61

You really hurt me.

Instead: Cried. All I do right now

Vanessa · day 15

My mum was right about you

Anonymous · day 49

DON'T YOU DARE MOVE ON BEFORE ME

Instead: Poured myself a glass of wine

Lorna · day 2

You left the group chat like we were nothing and then liked my mum's photo three days later, what is wrong with you. Actually don't answer that, I already know.

Instead: screenshotted it and showed my best friend

Dani · day 38

I've written this out so many times I could recite it. I'm not going to send it because I know exactly how it'll go, you'll read it, you won't reply for two days, and then I'll get a full stop and a "hope you're well."

Instead: I pasted the message here and rang my sister. Had a great chat with her and didn't mention his name once

Clare · day 52

You didn't even fight for it and that's the part I can't get over

Meg · day 11

Jamie, I keep starting texts to you and deleting them. This is the fourth one tonight

Instead: Sent it here

Sarah · day 17

I saw your car outside the gym today and my whole day just stopped

Instead: Went for a walk

G · day 14

Come back.

Anonymous · day 9

Sorry.

Anonymous · day 45

Why did you do that to me?

Instead: Cried in the car before going into work like normal

Anonymous · day 1

I hate that I still miss you. I hate it. I know we were awful and I'm happy now. I am in love now. AND I STILL MISS YOU. I feel like this is a life sentence.

Instead: Put a load of washing on.

M

Miss you.

Anonymous · day 23

do you even think about me

Anonymous · day 6

I just want an answer - did you ever love me?

Instead: Walked. For miles. Spoke to trees and cows. Sounds mad but it worked

Harry · day 500