25 September 2026 · The i Paper
I advise 400,000 women on how to date - this is their most common mistake
The trouble with dating apps is that the carousel never stops.
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Essays and columns
I write about midlife, attachment and starting again. Some of it is here in full. Some of it appears elsewhere first, in which case there's an opening here and a link to the rest.
10 September 2026 · The i Paper
I’m a 54-year-old man without any male friends
Men don't end friendships. We hide from ever having them in the first place
Read the opening7 September 2026
The crazy cat lady is having a much better time than you are
As a single man who spent years doing laps of the dating app circuit, and who has a wide circle of mostly female friends, the crazy cat lady trope has always curled up rather uncomfortably in my lap.
Read it26 August 2026 · The i Paper
Age 10, my mum told me my dad didn’t like me – it ruined my relationships
I was ten when my mother told me. It took forty years to understand what it had done.
Read the opening19 August 2026
Betrayal
On the one wound we are not meant to recover from, and why that is not a failure.
Read it12 August 2026 · The i Paper
I failed 11 times to break up with my partner, now I give advice to 400,000 women
I could say it was a Friday. I could say, a few years ago. I could add vagueness to my story to remove myself from the sharpness of its pain.
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